Ambo's Blog of Thoughts

Random Ramblings- A Journal Entry

2010-10-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

I traveled quite a bit this summer. From May to September I took 12 trips to various places around the country- to visit friends, attend weddings, and fulfill Alpha Gam roles. In August and September, I made 4 trips for Alpha Gam to visit chapters, establish a chapter and hopefully open a new chapter. I think I just wanted to get away from Eugene and so every opportunity that I had to get away, I did. Not that I didn't want to do all the things that I did. I love the time I spend on Alpha Gam. And, it wasn't that I wanted to get away from my husband. He is my rock. I was so frustrated in my job and with life in Eugene. I just wanted to get out and away from it all for a while.

My very last trip was to Walla Walla, Washington. Somewhere 30,000 feet above the Oregon/Washington border and farm land, I had the urge to write what all was rambling through my head. Looking back, I think it really is a reflection of my emotions at the time and helps me understand my decision making even if I couldn't at the time. I am about to really put myself out there and be very vulnerable. So....here goes.

"How I love to travel. No one can find me here. Call me. Email me. Text me. I can gaze out across the landscape. Rolling mountains, winding rivers, sun-kissed land. Quiet. Breathing.

Clearing my mind of the clutter that weighs it down. Insignificant clutter that clouds what is really important. How did I get so bogged down? Walked on and taken for granted. Always the volunteer, leader, or filling in the gap. This place just sucks you in like a black hole.

I wonder if the ants below feel the same way with all the farming, schooling, raising kids and crops.

And, why do I feel so angry? I think because it's out of my control most of the time. If I was in charge, I'd do this. Or that. Or if this would have been handled earlier. Oh, I drifted back to work. What is management versus leadership? What does that mean in a complex organization? Can I be a better leader? Can I make a change?

And back to that significant stuff. You know, my caring husband, amazing group of friends, and family anyone would die to have. How neglected do they feel? I put them last sometimes. I build off of their energy and love to go outwards. But at what cost? Thank God my husband gets me, knows me to my core.

How do I keep it under wraps, those feelings that I hide? Oh, look at that cute baby. I am so happy, yet so sad. I really want to have children. But how? Not now. Reward for finishing the degree? Ok. Sounds good. Now finish. Then you can follow the plan...baby by....oh wait. That's a bit more complicated. Will we be able to? What if we can't? I'm so old now. I sure hope. My heart depends on it. That bottled up desire to have a child."

New Adventure

2010-10-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to share that John and I will be traveling to Pondicherry, India from December 28-January 12. John is establishing a new service learning trip for students that will take place next year. He and Dr. Dan Close from the College of Education at the UO are conducting the on site visit to move this project forward. And, as a result I am going to tag along!

Here is what I know so far:
This is where we will be going and spending most of our time. Pondicherry, India

View Larger Map

The organization that John is working with is the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. We will meet with people from the community so we can plan out the curriculum and logistics for the trip the students will take a year later. When the students are there they will engage in individual and group projects in village settings that will be directed to education, village development, environmental and facility development. The purpose of these projects in the service-learning setting is to teach students about partnerships, reciprocity, capacity building, sustainability, cross-cultural understanding and problem solving skills. Students learn about partnerships by building and maintaining relationships with local leadership, Indian students and other stakeholders who come together to advance these projects.

I am really excited to accompany John on this trip and to visit a country I had hoped to visit! More to come as things shape up. Any tips or recommendations for us? If so, leave a comment!

Rejuvinating the Blog...here we go!

2010-09-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

Alright my friends, followers, and random readers. It's time for the blog to make a come back! I know, I know. It's been years...whoa, it hurts to say that! But I need to get back into the mode of writing and putting my ideas out into the world. It has been a wonderful year away from the blogosphere- I got married and have moved forward in my career. However, it's time to dig back in and get to the business of finishing my degree. Let's go my friends! Let's do this!

Fun Baby Shower

2009-05-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

I am helping plan a baby shower for a friend at work. We are going with the Dr. Seuss theme, Thing 1 and Thing 2, since this is baby #2. We just finished the invites...they are so cute! I just had to share...just click on the picture and it will show up in a new window and you can read the words.

Spring Time at Oregon

2009-05-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

Things are moving right along here in Oregon! John and I are working and working...spring term is the busiest time at Oregon. This week alone, we worked probably 60 hours easily. But, it's all worth it when we see students walking at graduation in June. :) This will be my third year planning graduation (43 ceremonies in 3 days), which makes wedding planning feel like a snap!

Wedding plans are coming along super well. Major decisions made and now we are coasting! I am in the middle of writing my research proposal, which is pretty much chapters 1-3 of the dissertation. I will start data collection this summer and end in winter 2010. Closer...and closer...

That's about it for now!

The Engagement

2009-04-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

On March 24, 2009 in Jamaica, John officially proposed to Amber.

We were attending the wedding of our dear friends, Sarah and Jeremiah. John had a surprise for Amber... he intended to formally propose on the trip and had brought the ring all the way to Jamaica.

With Jeremiah and Sarah's blessing to ask during their wedding trip, John found an opportune time on the last day in Jamaica. While we spent all of our days on the coast, this last day we ventured into the mountains to visit the YS Falls about 2 hours out of Negril. The waterfalls were spectacular. The group climbed to the center part of the falls and took some pictures. Then we all proceeded to the top of the falls. Once up there, all the sudden everyone had vanished and it was just John and Amber before the falls. While standing there, John turned to Amber and started his proposal of marriage. Before Amber knew it, John was on one knee and asking Amber to marry him!

John presented Amber with the most beautiful ring. Of course she said "Yes!" and said it about a thousand times! The whole event brought Amber to tears as she was so overwhelmed with joy.

2009-03-07T16:14:00.001-08:00

One word- WEDDING!

www.amberandjohnwedding.com

Yay!

Updates and Updates...Lots of Updates

2008-12-21T16:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I had vowed to update this more often...low and behold, 6 months later! Sorry folks. It has been an interesting ride but I am glad to report I am still on the move!

Where to start....but it only makes sense to pick up where I had left off.

Work and School
This summer was as busy as usual with summer orientation and welcoming all the incoming students and their parents to the UO. Because it was going to be busy with work and I was down right tired, I decided to delay taking my comprehensive exams until fall term and take a moment to breath. I had pushed myself extremely hard between working full time, taking classes full time and conducting a pilot study for my dissertation. I accomplished much- 3 publications, a pilot for my dissertation, accolades at work- but I was crashing and needed to just be for a while. I also switched dissertation advisors since my advisor was retiring and needed to forge a new relationship with him. I did take the first two parts of the three part comprehensive exam during the beginning of fall term. I will take the last part of the exam in early January. If all goes well, then I should advance to candidacy sometime in February or March (depending on when they get to grading). This "slow down" has turned into something I am so glad to have fallen into. I will now have more opportunity to interview students for my study, more time to learn the research process and a better chance at remaining sane!

Summer Visits and Trips
John and I had a great time visiting with folks over the summer. We went out to Hannibal, MO for our biennual Swayze Family Reunion! It was a blast, as usual, to get together with everyone. My entire immediate family was there, in addition to the 50 or so extended family members. We did it up right with the Swayze Olympics as the theme, complete with family style olympic games at a park. I have always enjoyed the Swayze Family Reunions since I can remember them. My grandmother (Mom as I call her) is one of 13 siblings who have kept us all together. There were only four of the original 13 able to attend, but their legacy is so strong. Catching up with all my cousins, aunts/uncles, great aunts/uncles, grandmother- all priceless.

We had several visitors and were so glad to host them in our house and beautiful Oregon. My Mom came out in September and we had loads of fun just being together. In addition, our friend Pat Morrison and his girlfriend Melissa came on a whirlwind tour of the Pacific Northwest from Toronto. They made a stop in Eugene for a couple of days and we were so glad to see Pat and meet Melissa! A few weeks later, my dear friend Paige came out for a visit from Texas. This was her first trip out and we had a great time touring around Eugene. We were lucky to have visits from folks and we LOVE to have people stay and see the beautiful scenery! Taking reservations at Hotel Duncan for next summer- get your reservations in today!

Promotion
John got some really great news this fall! As a result of all the hard work he has done in not only expanding the Holden Leadership Center, but also as a result of his fundraising efforts he got a HUGE promotion! In addition to his position as Director of the Holden Leadership Center he is also now the Director of Development for Student Affairs. So that he can assume his new responsibilities, his office has grown considerably in staff. I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished. In just three years he turned a dream into reality and then some.

Family
I have spent alot of time with my family over the last couple of months. It hasn't exactly been a cake walk for everyone. We have had 2 major events occur in October. First, my grandmother (who I call Mom :) ) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was scheduled for a full masectomy and had it in November. I am glad to say that she is recovering well, but we keep her in our hearts and thoughts every day. She is one of the most influential women in my life, along side my mother and my sister. These three women mean the most to me and inspire me in every aspect of my life. I'm glad that Mom is beating this cancer and we continue to pray for her strength and healing. In addition to Mom's breast cancer, we also had a tragic death in the family.

Amelia Dale Stevens- In Memoriam
Well, based on my last post you all know that Angie got married. She and Chad were also pregnant with their first child and due mid-December. They had their daughter, Amelia Dale, about five weeks early on October 28, 2008. She appeared healthy and Chad and Angie loved her with all their hearts- changing diapers, cooing, cuddling. Two days after Amelia was born, she came down with a terrible case of pneumonia and was transferred to Cook Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth. Her tiny little body wasn't able to fight off the infection that had taken over her little organs. On November 2, 2008 our tiniest angel passed away. She is always in our hearts and watching over us. This has been, by far, the most difficult thing that I have experienced. I also know that what I feel can never come close to what my sister and Chad are going through. I am so moved by their grace and love for each other and for each of us.

Thanksgiving
John and I were so excited to head north to visit close friends for Thanksgiving this year. We made plans to travel up to Seattle to visit Aimee and AJ for Thanksgiving Day. Then we would travel on up to Victoria, BC to spend the weekend with Geoff and Kelly. (Aimee has quickly become a life-long friend as we have taken the journey through the doctoral program together. AJ is a step ahead of us and is already Dr. Peper! Geoff is John's fraternity brother and they have been close friends for years now. He and his wife Kelly are newly married and just had their first child together. This was our first chance to meet their son, Max!) The trip up was interesting to say the least. We left the house at 4am on Thanksgiving Day to drive up to Seattle. At about 7am and 1 hour from Aimee and AJ's house, John turns to me and says, "Did you grab our passports?" Yeah- neither one of us had our passports to cross into Canada the next day. So, AJ and John got in the car and drove to Portland to meet a friend with our passports. Aimee and I got to catch up and drink wine! We had a great Thanksgiving dinner when the guys got back. The next morning, John and I boarded the ferry to Victoria (or Vic as we all say). On the way there we were so excited to see Orca Whales in the bay of Puget Sound. Our arrival to Vic was welcomed by Geoff and Max. We were able to visit with Kelly and Geoff and catch up. We stayed in the Fairmont Empress Hotel one night and ate at Earl's (hehe, I took a picture with the sign and sent it to Earl) that night downtown. Vic is such a beautiful place and we always enjoy our time there. Thanksgiving was fun and it was so good to be around close friends and have the opportunity to catch up in person!

In the end...
While the last couple of months have provided many personal challenges for me. It has also been a time when I have been so, so, so grateful for how close my family is to each other. How we dive in and take care of each other. It has taught me a lesson- nothing means more than family and dear friends. While work and school have been so intensely busy, neither can replace those that I love so much. New Year's Resolution- BALANCE!

I hope your holiday is full of friendship, love and laughter. John and I are headed to Texas on Christmas Eve and will stay through New Years. We wish you all the best in the New Year!

Coming to you LIVE from Eugene!

2008-06-25T10:37:00.005-07:00

Howdy folks! I just got back from my second trip to Texas in a month which means I have a bit of an accent again. It's pretty fun to hear ya'll and howdy and that twang! Since I have a little bit of a breather here today, I thought it would be a good time to update the blog and give a little window into my life at this moment.

Well, it is official- I HAVE COMPLETED MY COURSEWORK!!!! I have finished three years of coursework towards my doctorate and it felt so good to be done. My very last class, I did announce that I just finished the last class I will ever take towards a degree. I'm not gonna lie..I have toyed with the idea of a sociology degree, but there is a reason the doctorate is called a "terminal" degree- the end! As people in my program graduated they were also cheering me on and saying that next year- it would be me. I can see it at this point at least, but lots to do in the mean time.

ANGIE GOT MARRIED! I flew home May 30-June 1 to watch my little sister Angie get married to Chad Stevens. Their ceremony was very touching as they not only said vows to each other, but to the kids. Chad has a daughter Avery and Angie has a daughter Logan. So after all the vows were exchanged, they presented the family instead of just the couple. It was so moving and I have to say I was pretty teary eyed. That was Friday night. Then Saturday night we had a reception with lots of family and friends. The weekend was such a blur, but it was also fun because all of my family was in one place for the weekend and I got to see everyone!
PHOTOS:
Album 1
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454181&l=7ec45&id=5238266
Album 2
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454184&l=d9ad4&id=5238266

Graduation planning came to culmination on June 13-14 when we hosted about 40,000 people for spring graduation. It was alot of fun and everything went smoothly. I was so glad for it to be over on Saturday night and John took me out to the BBQ place in town for sweet tea and brisket. Then I slept for 14 hours straight.

The Wednesday after graduation I got on a plane and headed to San Antonio, TX for Alpha Gamma Delta Convention. I was exhausted from the academic year but so looking forward to Convention and seeing many of my AGD sisters that I only get to see about every 2 years. This Convention was one that I will always remember. I arrived on Wed and didn't leave the hotel but once. There were so many folks to catch up with and meet. I was able to connect with all of the Province Directors that I supervise and their chapters. I also sat in amazement at our members- such strong women leaders, both alumnae and collegiate. I also conducted Chapter Advisor trainings and facilitated a couple of workshops. It is something that is impossible to describe when you have 400 women in a room who share the same purpose and surround each other in sisterhood.
PHOTOS:
Album 1
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454122&l=bfabc&id=5238266
Album 2
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454155&l=4f6f6&id=5238266

What lies ahead...
I am now preparing to take the first two parts of my comprehensive exams. There are three total and I will take Part 1 June 27-June 30, Part 2 July 3-6. I am meeting with my advisor tonight to do a little prep and get myself in the mindset. In the mean time, I am also preparing to conduct research in July when all our first year students come to orientation (as we call it IntroDUCKtion). I'll then wrap up my comprehensive exams August 25-Sept 12. Then I will hopefully have a committee in place and have my proposal approved to conduct research for my dissertation starting Sept 29. It's an extremely tight timeline, so this summer will be full of work welcoming new parents and dissertation.

So, that's the skinny on my recent adventures. It's always an adventure, but I am grateful for the support of my family and friends. I wouldn't be able to handle everything that is on my plate right now without your support. It's been difficult and I know I have been out of touch, but knowing that you are thinking of me and cheering for me really does make the biggest difference in the world. I feel fortunate to have this support.

It's Always Something New! :)

2008-05-02T22:14:00.003-07:00

I just like to keep you all on the edge of your seat because you never know what will be coming!

Good news is that I am taking my last 2 classes this term (sociology theory and race and labor markets) that are both sociology classes. Love them. Lots of reading, but love them. I'm getting ready for Spring Commencement (I plan 41 ceremonies in 3 days, it's awesome) on June 12-14. Then I head to San Antonio for Alpha Gam Convention June 18-23. The next two weeks I'll take parts 1 and 2 of my comprehensive exams. Orientation is all of July. August I'll take part 3 of my exam. September I'll defend my research proposal and then bam- the race is on to the finish! Hopefully I'll be Dr. Amber by June or August '09.

The trips to New York and Atlanta were so wonderful. I was glad to get away for a while. I absolutely love New York! We were staying right by Times Square and the energy in the city was amazing. We saw the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Chinatown, and World Trade Center Site. We went to see Chicago on Broadway- fabulous! And, we of course went to the conference. We presented 2 papers, both received rave reviews. That was so rewarding to hear faculty offer such glowing reviews. Then I headed to Atlanta for a student affairs conference where I saw many, many, many colleagues and friends. We had such a great time!

On the home front, Justin and Junko have moved out as of this week. It's nice to have a peaceful house and John and I are settling into our space.

Family news- Angie is getting married! This summer! She is marrying Chad Stevens, who is a long time friend. He has a daughter Avery who is such a cutie. So I told her she will have an insta-family with Chad, Avery and Logan!

Ok- I think that is it for my quick update. Hope everyone out there is doing great. I miss you!

Better...for now...

2008-02-24T14:08:00.003-08:00

So, latest updates since my last post. Mom came to my rescue and stayed with us from Feb 7th-16th. It was so wonderful to have her here and just know that she would know how to fix something or just make it all right. I was able to be calm at home and get things done. My life seemed to come back down off of the tight rope it was walking on. I haven't had another panic attack and feel like at least now I can see the end of the term. Lots of things to get done between now and the end of the term, but at least I can see it. Between now and then I have 5 major papers to write, 1 class presentation, 1 research project for class, and my AERA paper to write. This will all be over the week of March 17th. Then we fly to New York for the AERA conference March 22-29 and I head to Atlanta for another conference March 29-April 2. Needless to say, its still going to be busy but I am hoping the worst will be past me at that point.

Spring is looking optimistic. Work is insanely busy during that time, but I will only have two classes to worry about. I may be taking my comprehensive exam during spring. I haven't completely committed to it yet, but it would make sense for me. Then the summer would be devoted to writing my dissertation proposal so it could be approved for research in the fall/winter next year. I am hoping to defend in time for graduation in summer '09. That seems like a realistic goal.

That is my life at the moment. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write me a note of encouragement, insight or support. It really does mean alot to me.

Did that just happen? Yeah...I think it did.

2008-01-31T21:14:00.000-08:00

So tonight, I got out of class and started walking to the car with John. I start to take a deep breath and all the sudden my neck muscles feel like they are tightening up around my esophagus. It hurts to breath. John has to take my bag while I stand there trying to breath and feeling like I was getting light headed. We get into the car and my entire neck is tight. I feel like there isn't any blood getting to my head. Even more light headedness. I start to tear up because it all feels so wierd. I felt like I was going to get a migraine for a minute, but that started to pass as I finally felt like I was getting control again. The back of my neck loosened up. The front started to loosen up. I could breath deep.

I think may have had a panic attack or something. It was wierd- I just have too much on my plate right now. Sadly, all I want to do is be alone. Just some quiet time with no reading, no writing, no analyzing, no listening to someone else's issues, no helping to carry someone else's baggage, no picking up after someone, no please take care of my shit, no remembering all the details, no having to hold the big picture, no petty bull, no hoping I remembered, no endless lists of things to do.

I think I just need to be....be quiet, be content, be simple, be away, be behind the scenes, be ok with saying no, be better with boundaries, be silent.

Just Apologizing- Upfront or Afterwards

2008-01-20T22:23:00.001-08:00

Well, if anyone is still reading this thing it may mean that you haven't heard from me and I've almost fallen off the face of the planet. Quite possible, given my current state!

I feel really terrible that I have not called dear friends back nor have I kept in touch like I usually do. It's been a crazy ride this academic year. Fall term I had knee surgery, took 14 credits and began a side research project on top of working full time. Then took a quick moment to breath during a visit to Texas- only to return to even more craziness than I know how to handle at the moment.

I feel like I need to say- folks, I'll be back after March 17th! From the time school started for winter term until that date my life is going to be more than I can handle. I have 12 credits, work, conducting a study, writing up the study for a March conference, helping to coordinate a conference, volunteering for Alpha Gam and trying to have a relationship with John. Let's just say that so far, I'm doing all at about a rate of what fire can I put out this moment.

I laughed at myself this past week when my Mom called to quickly ask me what my address is so she could send me something. Yeah- I totally blanked! What...I'm suppose to be smart and stuff but I can't remember my freaking address. I had to look it up on a bill and call her back.

So, with all that being said I just wanted to let everyone out there know that if I haven't returned a phone call or been quick to respond to you in any way, I am so very sorry. I do have a list going of all the folks who have called and I need to call back. You are on my mind- I just need to carve out some time to talk to you. I think, "Oh I could call so and so" but then wouldn't be able to talk long or I am so tired I would fall asleep on the phone with you.

Please still be my friend and know that I love you. I'll be back from this place in time for spring term (only 9 credits and my last term of classes!) and hope to have more time then to be a better friend. Just had to get this off my chest and out to you.

Good Holiday

2008-01-20T22:10:00.000-08:00

We had a great holdiay at home in Texas. It involved visits with many wonderful friends and precious family.

Out with the AGD Oldcrew after finding out Robyn is pregnant!

This is my Mom, me, GiGi and Angie on Christmas Day

John and I on New Year's Eve

Me, Marissa, Jess and Robyn

Angie, Cousin Kevin Fowler and Me

I RAN!

2007-12-10T12:41:00.001-08:00

I ran today at physical therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am so out of shape....lots of work left to do, but I am making progress. Now I get to start the "return to running" program. :)

That's all...back to work.

The Golden Compass

2007-12-07T10:23:00.000-08:00

This morning I found a couple of "movie warning" emails in my inbox that can be found below in green. My response is afterwards in purple.

(Apparently, in the last movie when the children kill god, they call him Yahweh: See the Snopes website for that additional info.)......... Please spread the word about this around. An aware public can make a difference!

"The Golden Compass" is set to premier on December 7, during the Christmas season, and will probably be heavily advertised. This movie is based on the first book of a trilogy by atheist Philip Pullman. In the final book a boy and girl kill God so they can do as they please. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "My books are about killing God."

The movie is a watered down version of the first book and is designed to be very attractive in the hope unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie and that the children will want the books for Christmas.

The movie has a well-known cast, including Nicole Kidman, Kevin Bacon, and Sam Elliott. It will probably be advertised extensively, so it is crucial that we get the word out to warn parents to avoid this movie.

Please consider a boycott of the movie and the books. Also, pass this information along to everyone you know. This will help to educate parents, so that they will know the agenda of the movie.

You can research this for yourself. Start with this article on Snopes.com. Once there, look to the column on the left side named “Hottest Urban Legends.” Click on “Golden Compass.

(I read the snopes article and this is definitely worth passing around. It's very disturbing. I normally don't forward this kind of email but I think it is well worth spreading.)

Not tired of reading about the movie? Here's MORE DETAILS
---
The movie has been described as "atheism for kids" and is based on the first book of a trilogy entitled "His Dark Materials" that was written by Phillip Pullman. Pullman is a militant atheist and secular humanist who despises C. S. Lewis and the "Chronicles of Narnia". His motivation for writing this trilogy was specifically to counteract Lewis' symbolisms of Christ that are portrayed in the Narnia series.

Clearly, Pullman 's main objective is to bash Christianity and promote atheism. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "my books are about killing God." He has even stated that he wants to "kill God in the minds of children". It has been said of Pullman that he is "the writer the atheists would be praying for, if atheists prayed."

Psalm 22:22 "I will declare your name to my brethren"
Isaiah 42:8 "I am Yahweh, that is my name"

My Reaction and Response
Go and actually read the snopes page:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

From what I can tell, the movie is based on the first book in the series. The children are fighting against an oppressive god. I don't think they call the god-like figure in the movie Yahweh, rather they call him "the Authority." But the dissolution of the Authority isn't suppose to happen until the third book and so it is unclear if it will be in the movie or not.

I'm going to go and see the movie to be informed. The person who wrote it is an atheist, not a criminal or a bad person as is implied in the emails. The books have actually won awards...because you know what, I bet they make children actually think! I don't see anything wrong with reading C.S. Lewis AND Pullman because they offer great stories based on different beliefs. Being able to THINK through both of those stories helps you from being blinded from the misgivings of both sides.

"Several key themes of the novels, the rejection of organized religion and the abuse of power in a fictionalized Catholic Church, are to be diluted in the adaptation. Director Weitz said "in the books the Magisterium is a version of the Catholic Church gone wildly astray from its roots" but that the organization portrayed in his film would not directly match that of Pullman's books. Instead, the Magisterium will represent all dogmatic organizations.[33] " http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/His_Dark_Materials:_The_Golden_Compass

What a great opportunity to actually talk about the abuse of power by organized religion that has happened in our world. Lots of examples to draw from for all types of religion- slavery, the Reformation, wars and wars and wars, treating women less than men, etc.

It's about being educated and it is ok to ask questions, read/watch materials that are different from your own beliefs and even talk to someone who believes differently. In the end, it makes us all more aware of what we truly believe and connected as human beings. Every person sees the world from their vantage point and having those multiple perspectives can lead us towards a better understanding of each other and of our world. Not allowing "outside" thoughts or media into our world means we are never challenged to think or consider alternatives that could lead to more developed understandings of complex issues.

I found this to be helpful in my consideration of religion:

Religion becomes both a violation of others' rights and a form of addiction under the following circumstances:
· When it is forced, rather than voluntary;
· When it abuses trust for personal gratification;
· When it misuses power to exploit others;
· When it seeks to force behaviors on others through political manipulation;
· When it uses any form of violence (i.e., "end justifies means") against others of different belief systems;
· When it isolates its followers from the rest of the world in order to remain pure
· When it is a compulsive escape from everyday reality and used to justify abusive behavior toward family, friends, and self.

http://www.philosophy-religion.org/criticism/addictionnew.htm

Don't let these statements make you feel like you can't talk to me about this further or that I am not open to having a conversation. I certianly am open and love to talk about things. My purpose in writing this is to encourage dialogue and instead of sending an email around that is meant to cause alarm based on assumptions; why not send around an email that encourages people to learn and make a decision on their own. In the end, if they still find the movie or books to be anti-religous then they will know why for themselves and feel firmer in their faith. Or they may learn something about their faith that they disagree with and try to change it. Or they may feel confirmed in their belief that there isn't a god. But, at least they considered new information with an open mind and thought about something important instead of letting someone tell them what to think. That is how inequities and injustices are perpetuated in our world.

This has been a good exercise for me today to explore these issues myself, so I am thankful for that. I hope we can continue to talk and dialogue as these are important conversations.

Fall is over...Winter is here....and I'm just posting

2007-12-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah...I said I would be better about posting on here. Hahahaha! Didn't that fall by the wayside.

Last night was the last night of classes for the fall term and I finally feel as though I am back among the living. It was a crazy term and I'm glad it is over. It also means that my last time of attending a formal class in the fall is done! Yipee!

Now- what do I do with myself? It's nice to just come to work and not have to worry about class tonight or what is due tomorrow. I think I will sleep all weekend.

Life Updates
I am doing really well recovering from my knee surgery. I am going to start trying to run next week! It has been difficult, but my body feels more like itself every new day.

We have booked our tickets to Texas and fly in to Dallas on Christmas Eve and leave on Jan 2. I haven't been home in a year, so I am looking forward to seeing everyone. It should be good times!

Winter and Spring travel is looking to be busy. We have a couple of weddings, friends to see and a trip to New York for a conference. It is very possible that I will be flying from Hawaii(wedding) to New York(conference)! That will make me feel like a real traveler. The conference in New York is HUGE and I will be presenting two papers- one as the primary researcher and another as a secondary researcher. There were 12,000 proposals submitted and we were selected! In addition, we just submitted a book review to the Harvard Journal of Hispanic Policy...hoping that gets accepted and published. Then I would be published 3 times in one year! I'm so excited with where my academic life is heading.

We did make a trip to Austin in November for an Alpha Gam babyshower. It was so fun and all 11 of us were there for the weekend. We've known each other for 12 years now and still have so much fun together. It's a gift that I am thankful for every day.

I also made a trip to Banden, OR with my faculty advisor and two close classmates (we do all our research together). We also had a really great time on the coast and the beach was so beautiful.

Fall is Here!

2007-09-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

Well, folks...the students moved-in today. It's official. My summer is over! I can't tell you how many people around here were morning the passing of summer around here today.

But, the air is starting to get crisp and the leaves are starting to change colors. We start classes on Monday and Fall term is sure to be another busy one. I am planning the first Homecoming in about 15 years at the UO. It's been fun to see people get excited about having it again. Should be a great week and something to build from for years to come.

I am taking 12 credits this term and will be plenty busy with coursework in addition to a pilot study I will conduct at the end of the term. The pilot study will contribute to my dissertation and will put me a bit ahead when I start that big paper next summer.

I am recovering from that super fun knee surgery. It has been a very interesting and frustrating process. Since this was my 3rd knee surgery, my muscles have been fighting me every step of the way. They are very protective of my knee and anything we have tried to do to rehab it. I have been making strides...who knew it would be so difficult to make your quad contract!

John has continued to keep himself super busy and making a huge name for himself. I am so proud of all he has accomplished here already. He secured a $1 million dollar donation to endow the Leadership Resource Office (which he started only 2 years ago) and has started great programs that challenge and support students in their leadership development. I can't tell you how many people have come up to me to tell me how amazing they think he is or how much they admire all he has done.

OH- how could I forget. Justin arrived from Japan and is living with us now. Justin is John's best friend/brother and watching the two of them catch back up has been fun. We are all waiting (Justin more so I am sure) for Junko, Justin's wife, to get her green card and visa so she can move here as well. We are hoping for November at this point. I'm excited for Junko to get here because she is awesome and we are going to have alot of fun together.

Ok, it's time to do some work. Talk to ya'll again soon. :)

What a summer!

2007-09-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

I apologize that it has been SO super long since I have posted on here! Life has just been so incredibly busy and there has been so much going on. That just means I have lots to update you on!

I made it through the academic year and thought that the summer would provide some downtime. HAHAHAHA! Just kidding....that would not be true. But it has been a wonderful summer.

Several things have happened:
- I had family visit twice! My Mom, Logan and Cami came to visit followed a week later by my sister Angie. We had a great time showing them around Oregon. It was great to have family visit and spend time with them in this beautiful place.
- I had ACL reconstruction surgery.
- We moved! New house in a quiet part of town and our friends Justin and Junko are moving in with us when they arrive from Japan.

All of this while working and taking classes...needless to say, it was busy. But again, we had such a blast with my family visiting and were glad to move. Here are some pictures that highlight the summer.

What does today mean?

2007-04-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, today was a very tragic day at Virginia Tech University. This morning I got to work and saw the news that a shooting had occured. My heart goes out to every member of the VA Tech community and anyone who may be effected.

As the events unfolded throughout the day and the death toll rose, it seemed surreal. Could this really happen at a University? At places that are havens for learning? Don't get me wrong, we certainly have violence on campus- every place has crime. And with Universities the size they are now a days, campuses are small cities. Imagine a small town of 36,000 people and you are looking at the size of VA Tech. Imagine a Texas A&M or UT where the students alone total 45-50,000 students plus thousands of faculty and staff. But our worst crime tends to be theft, not shootings or murders.

Where I think we have gone wrong in response to all this is the amount of finger pointing and blaming. My gosh...I just spent a couple of hours catching up to the world's response to the events today and I must say that we are the worst! Debates about gun laws and God in schools are everywhere. We can't stop for a moment and morn with those most effected. We can't send condolences and embrace others. Instead we start bitching about politics. I'm so disgusted at this.

We must let the dust settle and respect those who are in pain by embracing them in love right now. Not inundate them with hateful debate and finger pointing.

I don't know what today will mean for the future, but I do know there is great sadness and pain.

Getting Ready

2007-04-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

We just finished the second week of the term! Now I have a week and a half until we leave for Japan. We are so excited for this opportunity! John's best friend, Justin, is getting married. Justin has been living in Japan for about the last 5 years and is marrying a woman named Junko. She seems super sweet and we have been emailing lately. She and her Mom are letting me borrow a Kumono to wear to the wedding! Our trip will be 10 days long. We will be getting in 2 days before the wedding. After the wedding, we will spend the week traveling and site-seeing with the newly weds. Honeymoons are not a tradition in Japan and we feel lucky to have time with them. We will be sure to take a million pictures and write about our experiences.

Otherwise, we have been working alot and trying to stay on top of everything. I can't believe it has almost been a year that I have been here. June will mark one year!

Letting a little emotion out...

2007-03-08T17:29:00.000-08:00

Hi folks,
I'm just feeling a little exhausted, down, sad...this past term I've had to respond to 4 student deaths. From January to March, four young people have died and I've happened to be the person on duty. A friend of mine here said to me, "Amber, you're suppose to be there. The person that helps others through this. You're suppose to be the one." At first, that made me feel really good. That I could help someone carry the load, help someone through a difficult time. Now I need to step back a moment.

This past week I've watched 18-24 year old men cry, hug each other and publicly say "I love you, man." The men might not otherwise do this, but they were holding each other up and taking care of each other. It was such an amazingly beautiful thing during such a dark time. To watch the character of the family to not be angry at the person or situation that took their son's life...recognizing the common grief, sadness and burden that they and the person that killed their son would both carry with them the rest of their lives. These were the gifts I have been given this past week.

As hard as each of these situations have been, I have learned so much. Its amazing how the death of people that you never personally knew can effect you. These four students were very different people, but they were loved so much by everyone around them. Each and every one of us touches someone else with our lives whether we knew them or not. They each left a legacy by displaying the content of their character through the way they treated others. I didn't know these four students, but the legacy they left has touched me. I can only hope to live up to the life that these four students lived. Now I feel a little better...thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Verdict is in....

2007-02-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday and he confirmed...I've torn my ACL AGAIN!

Bright side of the story is I don't need immediate surgery and can take my trips that I have planned:
- Chicago for St. Pattys
- Conference in Orlando first of April
- Japan late april

Bad news is I will have to have the major surgery and I can't do it until August given my school and work schedule.

Other than that, life is busy with school and work. Not too many quiet times between those two things, but we are doing well. Hope life is great with you!

Why Can't I Be Invincible?

2007-01-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Well folks...two posts in one week! It's your lucky day!

Just feeling a little down and frustrated at the moment and thought I would post. See, two weeks ago John, Chris (good friend of John's) and I went snow skiing. Now, for some of you who have known me for years know that I have had 2 surgeries on my left knee- all for my ACL. Yeah- you can see where this is going...

So we went skiing and all was going well. Beautiful day, beautiful snow, beautiful scenery. We had been down the mountain about 6 times and all was going well. Before we took a lunch break, one more run.

So we get on the ski lift and up we go! Chris on the far left, John in the middle and Amber on the right side. We get to the top and get ready to get off the lift. As we stand up and ski down, I catch the back of John's ski with my left ski and try to turn right. When I do this, my right ski goes right and my left ski stays put. So now I'm starting to do the splits and as I go to fall down- pop. My knee pops out of joint and I am down for the count. Not a comfortable place to be with your head in the snow and your legs in god knows what direction. Luckily between John and the medic at the lift they were able to get my skis off and stand me up. Of course, I totally stopped the entire lift for about 5 minutes. I knew it was hurt and couldn't/wouldn't attempt to ski back down. Jan, the volunteer medic, put me in the sled and skied me down the mountain behind her.

Here I am in the ski patrol station waiting for my make shift, cardboard box, splint to be put together and duck taped to my leg. Since we had taken a shuttle, I spent the rest of the day in the lodge drinking bloody mary's and watching others ski or fall down the mountain.

Today I was finally able to visit the Orthopedic doc who looked at my leg, did a knee exam and said, "Well, I think it's torn again." The fact that I can't straighten my leg could mean two things- 1) the ACL is torn or 2) the meniscus is torn. I go in for a MRI on Friday night...yeah, John and I are having a date with the big loud machine. We'll see what the shows us when I meet with the doc again on Feb 12th. Until then, I'll be hobblin' around and taking the shuttle to class. Anyone want to buy some nice ski pants and goggles?

I'll keep you posted...

Sorry for being MIA...I'm back!

2007-01-27T12:10:00.000-08:00

Howdy, hello, hola,

So I disappeared since NOVEMBER! AAAHHH! Never meant for that to happen. So where to even start on what been going on over the last couple of months.

Thanksgiving was nice even though I was on duty for work. We were able to sneak away to John's parents for lunch. I did a little day after Thanksgiving shopping and then it was back to work and school. The term ended well and I survived my first term of working and going to school full time. The winter break was wonderful- we were able to visit Texas, thanks to my parents and had so much fun. The nieces are getting so big and funnier by the minute. Logan is 5 now and is already a little scientist. She asked for a frog dissection kit (fake frog :)) and microscope. I just get such a kick out of her and am so glad she is exploring all the world has to offer without being confined to "girls" stuff. Everyone in the family is doing well and seeing them was energizing and rejuvenating. Nothing can replace spending quality time with family.

We started the winter term off with the same crazy weather that brought ice and snow to the south. The weather couldn't be better now though, as the sun has been out all week! So, it's been back to the books and busy at work. Family weekend is coming up in 2 weeks and graduation planning is under way.

That's the story in a super, small nutshell. I'll be making sure I post more frequently in the future! Thanks for staying with me here!

What is Peace?

2006-11-12T00:50:00.000-08:00

Let me just tell you, life has been so busy! I feel like John and I have been running and running. But, at the same time there has been all this noise, work and craziness I have found myself at peace. I have this magnet up in my office and it caught my eye the other day. This is what peace means to me. I have to be busy and be involved in a million things, but as long as I am calm in my heart I am fine.

Well, I am very calm in my heart. I have so many wonderful people around me to share in this life with- John, my family, and many friends. No matter how far away you are or how often I get to see you, know that I think of you often and send you well wishes. Each of you gives me strength and gives me peace in my heart.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

Fun times this past weekend as John and I opened up our new place for the first of many socials to come! We had a great time hanging out with some fun new friends. So much fun that we actually didn't go to bed until 5am Saturday night! Yikes! Needless to say the party was a success and we weren't feeling really old anymore. ;)

Here's a picture of some of the crazy crew:

And, these are our nice new neighbors:

What our place looked like before everyone arrived:

Moms Visit to Oregon

2006-10-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

It was a super fun weekend filled with lots of sight seeing and laughs. Mom came to visit from Sept 28th to Oct 3rd. It was her first visit to Oregon and the only time that she had been able to come and visit me without having to move me somewhere! I think she was probably relieved to not have to move boxes. But she did help me add some decorative touches to our new home. The kitties were so excited to meet their Grammy and garnered all the attention they could get while she was here.

On Saturday we drove up to Corvallis to hang out with a good friend and go to the Oregon State game. It was a beautiful day for a football game- the sun was shining and the temperature was about 80 degrees. The Beavers were not victorious, but we had a great time.

Oregon Wine Country was our adventure that Sunday after we had breakfast with Tiffany and Alex, our new wonderful friends. John was our DD, and we visited 5 wineries. Again, the weather was just perfect and we enjoyed the wine and views of the area. By the time we made it to Sweet Cheeks, my favorite, Mom was in the mood to ask about having a wedding there! I think she had a great time and it was fun to take her to see all the places she had heard about.

The last day was spent on the beautiful Oregon Coast. We met John's parents in Florence for a little breakfast and blackjack at the Casino. It was nice to have Mom meet John's parents and to see them connect. After breakfast, we drove north on Highway 101 and stopped along the way to explore and take pictures. There were so many beautiful things to see that day. We visited Cape Perpetua were there are tidal pools in the rocks and waves crashing in. It was another amazing day for us.

Then it came time for Mom to leave for home and to return to everyday life. This week was the second week of classes and all seems to be going well. I'm glad that Mom was able to get out before life gets extremely busy and before the rains come for winter. It's always so nice to have your Mom with you, no matter hold old you get. There's nothing that can replace the comfort and peace that she brings. I love you Mom! Thanks for sharing time with us!

Fall is Here

2006-09-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

This week has marked the official beginning of fall for me. School hasn't started yet at the University of Oregon and it hit me on Monday that the first day is right around the corner. Which for me not only means a busy work schedule, but a busy school schedule as well. I must admit I'm pretty nervous about working full time and going to school full time.

So with this realization and the fact that the temperature dropped into the 60's, I am seeing the change of the season. I do enjoy the different seasons and fall weather makes for great football watching weather. We have been watching football all day! :) A nice weekend of relaxation before the craziness hits!

Not much more to report...which I think is a good thing.

Labor Day in Victoria, BC

2006-09-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

Amber, John, Sam, Geoff, Kelly and Tate

The last weekend trip was made this past weekend as John and I traveled up to Vancouver Island in Canada. We went to visit John's good friend Geoff and his partner and kiddos. We left at 5am on Friday morning to drive up to Port Angeles, WA. From there we took an hour and a half ferry ride to Victoria and arrived around 3pm.

Geoff met us at the ferry and we drove around the island a bit so we could see a few of the sights. Then we went on to the house and met up with Kelly, Sam and Tate. They were wonderful hosts! That night we had a great dinner downtown and walked around some of the shops. The next day we formed our own biker gang- Scooter Frenzy! I only almost wrecked once, into Kelly....and maybe ran through a yellow light...but this chopper momma survived. We had a great lunch on the water before heading home. The weather was just perfect...not too hot, not too cold.

It was a great time to be in a beautiful place, with super friends. Can't get much better than that...

New Home

2006-08-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

After we returned from our wonderful trip to Hawaii, it was time to move one more time. The lease was up on our apartment at the end of July and we wanted more space. We searched all of Eugene and came upon a great deal.

We are now renting a 3 bedroom townhouse. We are only the second people to live in it and the previous tenants were only here for 4 months while they were waiting on their house to be built. Needless to say, it is brand new and still even smelled like a new house when we moved in! Both John and I really like the new place and the kitties seem to enjoy it as well. They think the stairs are a race track and race each other up and down the stairs.

Now we are prioritizing projects....the first purchase has been a BBQ grill. :)

Home sweet home.

HAWAII

2006-07-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

On Sunset Beach

On a sunset cruise

At dinner before the Magic Show

Where we went snorkeling

Well folks, we made the trip and it was AMAZING!!!! If you haven't been, you need to visit. We had such a good time. The flight there wasn't too bad since we flew from the West coast...everyone else had 9 or more hour flights while ours was 5 1/2 hours. We arrived to a greeting of fresh flower leis and were taken to our hotel. We were in Waikiki Beach and were a block or so from the beach. In between the beach and our hotel were stores like Gucci, Prada, etc.

The first night we had drinks on the beach and watched the sunset. The next day we went to an Orientation where we could sign up for tours and activities. After that we enjoyed Mai Tai's at the mall and then took in a Luau that night. We got up the next day to take our Grand Island Tour where we drove all around the Island of Oahu. There was so much to see- the North Shore, the Dole Plantation, Beaches, Hanuama Bay, National Cemetary of the Pacific. It took most of the day but was well worth seeing the entire island. Then we enjoyed some dinner and took in a Polynesian Magic Show. Afterwards we visited the International Marketplace that stayed open until about 10pm (as did most of the stores!). John was able to bargin very well and we purchased lots of goodies here.

Day 3 had us up EARLY because we had to be on the bus to head to the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor. We were on the bus at 6:30am and in line until 8:30 when we finally were in the museum. Then they show you a short documentary and take you out to the memorial. It was quite the experience and I was really glad we took the time to visit. We then went by the Palace where the Hawaiian Royal family resided. There are many things around Honolulu that are named for the family, including a private school, women's hospital and other state buildings. That evening we took a Sunset Cruise where we ate dinner and sat with a couple who were starting their trip around the world. We were also able to see our Louisiana friends who were booked on all the same activities and tours we were.

By the time we were on day 4, we were kind of tired of being touristy but our activity that day was by far the neatest. We went on Uncle Bob's Snorkeling trip which took us out of Honolulu and to a near by bay. We jumped on a catamaran and set out on the ocean. We traveled along the shore where we were soon upon a large sandbar. As the water turned from blue to turquoise, you could see sea turtles swimming along. We anchored by the sandbar and all got out to enjoy some swimming and water volleyball. Then we enjoyed some lunch over looking the ocean and spectacular shore. After lunch, it was time to snorkel and we headed to a coral reef. Where the boats anchored there was deep water and then a coral reef appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Of course, as scared as I am of the water anyway I was waiting until lots of people got in the water. John was already in the water and some people were making their way around the reef. Just then someone on the boat yelled, "shark!" You know how I feel about sharks- freaked me out completely!!!!!!! It was a tiger shark that was swimming over the far side of the reef. I didn't get in the water for a little while longer and everyone else seemed ok so I jumped in. It was still scary- I didn't want to look! I finally did and saw the reef and all the fish and several eels. The eels were scary to me, but I held my own. All in all it was a wonderful experience.

The next day and our last day, we slept in and packed up so we could check our lugage at the hotel. We went out to the marketplace again and purchased some last minute gifts. Did I mention that over the course of our trip John purchased 12 Hawaiian (as they call them- Aloha) shirts? Then we had a red-eye flight back to Portland that left at 11pm.

What a trip it was and I enjoyed every single minute of it. We were already talking about our next trip out. Maui next time I think. But who knows, everyone told us to visit the big island and see the volcano. While we live in Oregon we might as well take advantage of the cheap airfare and shorter flights, right!?!?!

The Move to Oregon

2006-06-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hi folks!
It's been a while since I've posted, but wanted to update everyone on the move. Overall it went really well. John arrived in Florida on June 7th and we had some lunch with Jlow before heading to a farewell party given for us from Jan, my supervisor at FSU. It was alot of fun for everyone to meet John and to be able to spend time with people before heading out. We payed homage to On The Border (OTB) later that night with several of the usual OTB crowd. They named the sangria swirl after me- Amberita. It was a great!

The next day, June 8th, was spent running errands all around Tallahassee to get final things ready to ship everything off to Oregon before we could leave. Mikey B came over and assisted. Then it was time to have a goodbye dinner with my roomie, Katie. After dinner, John and I got on the road and drove to Baton Rouge. Then we drove the rest of the way to Austin the next day.

We went to Austin because my friend Marissa is having a baby and the AGD Oldcrew was in town for a shower, while our men floated the Guadalupe. The weekend was lots of fun and it was so great to see everyone! That was the first time in several years that the ENTIRE group was together. We had a blast and the shower went very well. The men made it back on Sunday after camping and floating the river very tired and sunburned.

We tried to drive to Cleburne on Sunday but the Yukon-do-it just couldn't do it. The transmission went out and we found ourselves back at Marissa's until my Mom could drive down and get us. At least we made it to Texas. Then John flew back to Oregon on Monday and I stayed with the family until June 15th. I got lots of quality time with the nieces who are SSSOOO adorable.

I started my new job as the Director of Family Programs and Commencement at the University of Oregon on June 16th! I am now employeed full time again which is huge for the finances. I will still be a full time student as well, so the coming year of work and school will be incredibly busy. But at least John and I are in the same state, city and time zone!

The week here has flown by and I already feel so at home. The people I get to work with are great and my job should be alot of fun. We've already visited my favorite winery- Sweet Cheeks- and its good to be home with John and the kitties. But, I leave tomorrow for HAWAII until July 5th! I'll be sure to write about our travels and post some pics when I return! Happy July 4th! Safe celebrations and talk to you soon!

LOL- Stephen Colbert

2006-05-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

So I just had to post the link to the speech Stephen Colbert gave at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Laughing Out Loud!!!

http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/4/30/1441/59811

One Year Down!

2006-05-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I am writing to you the week after finals to say I made it! One academic year of schoolwork is down. Now just several more to go. :)

I can honestly say that I am so happy to be a student again. I am passionate about learning and taking in as much as I can right now and there is soooooo much to learn. The more I learn, the more and more I see how complex the issues are in education. I can't wait to dive in even further and begin to define a research question.

Now, I'm working full-time in the First Year Experience office. Another change of pace for me- I went from full-time, to part-time, back to full-time. Neither easier than the other, just very different schedules for me to adjust to and manage. I'll work all through May and then John and I will drive to Texas on June 9th. We will be attending Marissa's baby shower on June 11th and then John flies back to Oregon. I'm not sure when I'll head out to Oregon. Maybe June 15th or so depending if I get a job I've applied for. I applied for a full time job as the Director of Family Programs and Commencement. Keep your fingers crossed!

Well, just wanted to put an update on life as it is now. Ever changing, but always fun!

Oregon Here I Come!

2006-04-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

Well folks, it's official! I'm moving to Oregon this summer! I know, I know...I just moved...I just like moving from one end of the country to the other. LOL

Just kidding...the GREAT news is that I was admitted to the doctoral program at the University of Oregon! YEA!!! It was a hard decision to make because the program at FSU has been wonderful and I couldn't ask for a better experience for a doctoral program. The experience wasn't complete though. John and I have been doing great, but long distance just sucks. Plus, I'm racking up a lot of debt just being here. So now I can have both my personal and professional life in one place. Very happy and excited to have that again.

So, thats the latest and greatest from me. I am absolutely swamped right now with schoolwork. April 25th will be the end of the semester for me. Year one down...several more to go!

2006-03-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to say "HELLO" to everyone out there. I've been traveling all over the place these days which has kept me out of the loop. It's conference season! Now it's back to the craziness of school. I have 8 major papers/projects due between now and April 18th. STRESS! I'll make it through I suppose.

I will have some big news to share in the next couple of weeks so keep you ears/eyes open!

Hope everyone is doing well. I miss my free time to catch up with you.

Three Women Who Made a Difference

2006-02-04T19:46:00.000-08:00

I'm moved to write this evening as I have seen in the last six months, 3 women pass away who were great leaders in civil rights and the women's movement. With Rosa Parks passing in October, Coretta Scott King in January and then today Betty Friedan. Seeing as I didn't grow up at the time these women made much of their mark on the world, I have read their works and researched their lives. I've been moved by their courage, grateful for their actions and they have inspired me to make a difference. If you are reading this and aren't sure who these women are, then I would encourage you to take the time to get to know these women leaders.

Why I'm so moved to write this evening is because I feel a great sense of loss and uncertainty. As I've meddled through what I am feeling, the only thing I can compare this to is the feeling you get when the people you most look up to and who always lead the way are gone. People who challenge the status quo, ask the hard questions and then work through it all to get the answer are who these women were. They were a part of the grassroots movements that grew into major efforts and changed the world we live in. Now they are gone and have left us with a legacy. This is where the uncertainty comes in...who will pick up the torch?

Maybe my age is finally catching up with me, but I feel a call to action. This is the time when it is most important to carry on their vision. This is the time when all that they have worked so hard to create will be challenged and it is our responsibility to continue the fight for civil rights in America. At a time when so much is at risk, we must look outside of ourselves to find what civic role we will play. The legacy is now ours to create; the future is now ours to create.

So Much to Say

2006-01-18T20:45:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! I apologize for slacking in updating my blog. It's been since final exams that I have posted and I feel I have so much to say. I guess I'll take you through a quick run of my time away from Florida and where I am at now with my life.

Oregon
I finished exams and packed up to spend the holidays in Oregon and then in Texas. It was great to be with John and the cats. I spent alot of time catching up on sleep and the cats were really good at helping me with that! ;) I was grateful for the time and found it very rejuvenating. We had Christmas with John's family on Christmas Eve, Eve. They spoiled me with lots of gifts. It was the first time that all of John's family had been in one place with the two of us. We had a great time playing poker and I actually came in second...which if you know me and my poker abilities, is pretty good.

Next stop, Texas!
We flew to Texas on Christmas Eve and got there just in time for the annual- Oh my gosh! We need to wrap everything!- party. Christmas day was full of nieces and yummy prime rib. We had a lot of fun being with all the family. The week was full of trips in to town so John could have his Whataburger fix. Well, I guess the entire week was full of food- chicken fried steak, steak, hamburgers and more red meat! We had a great time just being with each other and with my family. The highlight was New Year's Eve at Billy Bob's where all my siblings (except for Roz) and my grandparents went to see my cousin Kevin Fowler play. It was a blast! The pictures in this post are from that night.

Oregon
Then it was back to Oregon to unpack, hang out for a couple of days and repack to fly back to Florida.

Overall, the trip was wonderful. I really needed the time to be with those dearest to me after making the transition to Florida. Last semester was very difficult for me emotionally. Now that I have returned to Florida, I have better clarity about who and what matters most in my life and what makes me truly happy. Being with John is one HUGE piece of that happiness. Since the next couple of years of my life will be spent expanding my mind and my future, I am more grounded than ever before in what I value in life. I feel as though I have cast away whatever it was that was holding me back from committing myself to those values in my personal life. I have a more realistic understanding of what it takes to achieve "balance." I have also finally succumb to trying to plan out every detail of my life. As John often says to me when I ask, "What's the plan?" He responds, "The plan is, there is no plan." Now, I'm not advocating for not being prepared or to trash planning all together. What I've decided to do is to live a little more and to let my life happen; not to be too busy planning the next stage to enjoy the current one.

While I am sure I will stumble again, the most important lesson that has been solidified here is to get up and keep trying. Go passionately for your dreams. Love and be loved. Forgive and forget. Thanks to those who have patiently taught me these lessons, again and again. You know who you are.

Finals!!!!

2005-12-09T13:17:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, folks! It's that time of year. Today was the last day of classes and I've got one big final take home exam left. This weekend will be full of writing, writing and more writing.....and did I say more writing.

I will say that as this semester is coming to a close, I do feel a great sense of accomplishment.

I can be a student again and despite the crazy schedule, I love it.
I survived a major move across the country again. This time it involves sunshine and warmer weather. Yeah, it's 61 degrees today and I haven't seen snow this year at all.
John and I are still together. I didn't think that we wouldn't be together, but it's tough to work at a relationship from 2,948 miles away. Thanks for sticking with me honey! I must say we have racked up some frequent flyer miles. I also think of those who must do the same for whatever reason and praise them for their resilience and faith in each other.
I didn't run out of money...granted, I had taken out financial aid but I was worried it wouldn't be enough. I'm shooting to do even better next semester.

I found this quote:

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

I find it helpful to go day by day, one step at a time. For that is the only way we ever get to where we want to be. This certainly hasn't been the optimal position to be in, but I'm happy to say that one semester is conquered. We are all okay.

Holiday Wish Lists

2005-12-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

Hold the phone Mom! I know I just sent you my annual wish list of things I want for Christmas, but I'm having second thoughts. I may not be rich, especially right now! But I do know that the more I am reflecting on this season, the more I am called to action.

What got me to thinking about this was an "Angel Tree." I was walking through the mall and saw it a week or so ago. It's stuck with me as I thought about it's purpose. Not that it's a bad thing to get gifts for a child that otherwise would not have had them. I just wonder, what does it do to better the life of the child past the holidays? Aren't these the same children who grow up in low-income families who gain only around 5,000 word vocabularies compared to those from affluent families who gain 20,000 word vocabularies by the time they are in the first grade (Hart & Risley, 1995)? Aren't these the children who are six times more likely than those from affluent families to drop out of high school (McQuillan, 1998)? Isn't there a better way we can contribute to their success other than buying them a gift at Christmas?

Why don't we spend our time with others on Christmas feeding and serving those without families? Why not take the money we would have spent on gifts for each other and give it to CASA or some other agency of our choice that will better the lives of these children? Why not commit to volunteering in the community in the next year?

I know I'm often the queen of getting caught up in commercialization and shopping so these comments may seem awkward to hear from me. But I also can't help but think about the privileged life I lead from others who don't have money at their disposal. The factors that play into this are many, but given that we are a capitalist democracy there will ALWAYS be poor people (I'm not saying this is wrong, it just is). The redeeming factor is the philanthropy and service of others to help make life a little better for everyone, which in turn makes a better society for all of us to live in.

Times flies....

2005-12-02T11:01:00.000-08:00

Wow! I can't believe I have gone this long without posting something. I'm still alive, but life has been super busy. So, where to begin?

I think I'll start with my trip to Oregon November 15th-26th. That is where I have spent most of my time since the last post. It was a wonderful time and it was nice to be able to spend more than a couple of days with John and the kitties. We had a packed calendar! Casino with his parents, Oregon/Oregon State game with friends, dinner with faculty and staff, winery tour and Thanksgiving.

But, before I even got to Oregon I had a BIG surprise at the DFW airport. I worked in a 3 1/2 hour layover and Earl and I were going to catch lunch. Well, not only was Earl there to greet me but he also had Ashley and the new baby Carli! It was fun to see Ashley who doesn't even look like she's given birth and then hold the newest addition to the family. She is a super sweet baby and just beautiful.

We braved the cold and tailgated with some friends for the big Oregon/Oregon State game. This is the big rival game for the state and they even call it "civil war." The Friday before the game we went to a local pizza place called "Track Town" and hung out with John's best friend from college, Chris.

The winery tour was amazing. We only stopped at three of about 15 wineries in a 45 minute range of Eugene. The King Estate Winery has a brand new tasting room and was beautiful. The other highlight was Sweet Cheeks Winery. While this wasn't originally on the list, we drove by and had to go in. It gets it's name from the shape of the vineyard, that looks like butt cheeks. Also, greeting you as you drive in is the standard fountian of a little boy peeing, but we found out the winery calls him "Pinot." That was pretty funny!

Thanksgiving was great at John's parents place. They went all out! We had so much food. John taught his dad to play poker while I played board games with two of his nieces and mom. I think I gained about 10 pounds that day!

After all that fun, it was time to return to the real world. This week has been insanely hectic. I've got so much to do in the next week and a half when the semester ends. I can't believe the semester is almost over! One down, many more to go! Then I leave again for Oregon on December 14th. Yeah!

I hope that these last couple of weeks have been good for you. I give thanks for the many wonderful people who I have the privilege of calling family and friends. Love to all!
PS- My pictures aren't uploading to the site for some reason. I'll try again later.

FSU Football Weekend

2005-11-08T19:13:00.000-08:00

So I FINALLY went to a football game this past weekend. It was the last home game, so I thought I had better take advantage of my ticket. I went to the tailgate with all my higher ed friends. Then we headed over to the game. I do like college football and FSU is definitely in the top ranks of "the coolest places to see a college football game." But, I must say I've never seen anything that matches up to a good ol' Aggie football game. The traditions and crowd participation can't be matched. When Aggies show up, they represent the institution not just the game on the field. Plus I can't get over the mascot issue here.

I had to include some photos....
1) You see me, Grahaeme and Jen (who are both 3rd year docs) posing for a pic at the tailgate. It was sooo hot outside! Yeah, it's November and 89 degrees!
2) A photo from inside Doak Stadium, on Bobby Bowden field (don't get me started on Bobby...the man is like Jesus here).

But now it's back to reading, reading and more reading. I've got to read a book, 9 articles and do a stats quiz. Whew! This semester is close to being done- 1 down, many more to go. I leave on Tuesday to Oregon for 10 days! YEAH! I hope the kitties recognize me. I can't wait!

Fun Weekend!

2005-10-30T19:50:00.000-08:00

This weekend was pretty fun! I got to see my best friend Paige and we hosted a Halloween shindig at our apartment this weekend. All around, it was good to relax a bit and share some laughs with people.

Up above you see me and Michael (another doc student). I started out the evening without a costume and as the night went on the following happened, which resulted in me actually having a costume:
1) Sterling was wearing his fraternity jersey, since he came as an undergrad frat boy. We were in a group and he insisted that I wear the jersey since I didn't have a costume on. So we decided to be goofy and went back into the apartment, arm in arm, and announced that Sterling had given me his letters.
2) Jillian decided to loose her beads so I picked them up to compliment my outfit.
3) Derek decided to loose the afro so I picked it up and put on my shades.

That was it....I think I'll do it again next year. No need to run around trying to figure out what to wear. Just pick up whatever people take off and it's an instant costume! :)

Ok, time to write that book review that is due tomorrow. Safe trick or treating!

Happy Day!

2005-10-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

I must say that yesterday had to of been the best day since I moved to Florida. It was a combination of things that has me still on a high today (natural high that is!).

We have a new addition to our family and I am now an aunt three times over! Miss Carley entered our world yesterday around 2:30pm in Texas. She is the daughter of my brother Zack and his partner Ashley. I still haven't seen a picture of her, but everyone is happy and healthy. And, there is another woman in the family! The holidays will be super fun with Logan, Cami and Carley. :)

The next thing that made my day was getting back my midterm exam. I was a little nervous about it. Our professor had emailed the class to let us know the grade range and that she would be returning our test via our mailboxes in the Department office. The grades ranged from one person getting a 98, to the lowest of 81. I was hoping I was in the low 90's. I got my test back and guess what? I GOT THE 98! Damn it feels good to be a student again.

This weekend will be very festive. My best friend Paige will be here this weekend. Super fun! And, we are having a party Saturday night. The theme is dress to impress in a Halloween costume!

Still counting the days- only 19 days left until I see John and the kitties!

Randomness

2005-10-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

So, it's that busy time of year. I had 2 big midterms last week and lots of upcoming projects and papers. It's crazy how it all comes back to you though. I get one of my midterms back on Monday so I'm hoping it's good!

This weekend we are dog sitting for one of my doc friends, Grahaeme. It's really been fun. Frankie is a pug and just about the cutest thing ever. It never ceases to amaze me how much a pet can make your day (I miss my kitties). She gets so excited when we get home, even if we've only been gone about 10 minutes. She did get me to take her for a walk which was good for me to get some exercise, too.

Speaking of...I'm going to be trying to get into a routine of working out. My roommate Katie is really good at going so I'm thinking she can hold me accountable. A few of my close friends are kicking butt at working out so they look amazing for the big 3-0. There's only 9 months left to make myself look fabulous. Plus, John is working out every day and I can't be out done. ;)

Well, we are hoping that Wilma stays away from us while south FL braces itself. Only a month left in hurricane season. I never even knew there was a season until I lived here. Shows how much I know...

Only 22 days until my trip to Oregon for a week! John is in Indiana and I wish I could just drive there to see him. But even that is pretty far, it just seems so close.

I need to make myself read and do some stats homework. Ciao!

So I Did It...

2005-10-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well, this weekend I actually did what I had been thinking about...I got my nose pierced. Saturday night Katie (my roommie) and I went down to Body Piercing by Bink who I had been researching. A few minutes later and it was done.

It didn't really hurt at all. Getting the cartilage on my upper ear pierced hurt much worse. It's just there now, no pain. I opted for the titanium ball for now and in three weeks will head back to get the smaller CZ. It will be just a glimmer on my nose. :)

Always wanted to do it and the only time I could think of being able to do it next was after I was retired. I don't think that would look good, so no time like the present! Giddy up!

In other news, I'm studying for my two midterms on Monday. The semester is in high gear and this week will be another busy one. It's good to be busy since it makes my time here seem worthwhile. I just keep looking forward to my next trip out to see John- only 30 more days!

It's been hard to keep up with people on the phone with my busy schedule. If I've missed you lately, sorry! I think about everyone often though! Hope you are having a wonderful day! Miss you!

Leaving Comments

2005-10-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

I know some of you have been trying to leave comments and for some reason the settings were messed up. I've now changed it to where anyone can leave a comment so it should work now. Let me know if it doesn't!

I look forward to hearing from you. :)

PS- thanks Luz for making me aware!

What to be for Halloween?

2005-10-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

It seems as though I should be getting ready for Halloween this year with a new costume. I mean, I'm a student again isn't that what we do? Act stupid while we can? I've never really been one for dressing up, even while I was in college the first time. Now the pressure is on because our apartment has been voted the number one spot to spend the Saturday before Halloween this year. What am I to wear?

So, I consulted the great Logan (my 4 year old niece) yesterday on the phone. Of course, she is well ahead of me in selecting a great costume this year. Oh yes! She will be..... A PINK DRAGON! And, after she shared this she gave me a sneak peak into what pink dragons do. They ROAR of course! The specialty of this dragon is also that she can fly and breath fire.

Oh to have an imagination like that again! Instead, I'm stuck on the logistics. Ok, so how is Angie going to pull off the pink, fire breathing, flying dragon? I have no doubt that my sister, who has most of the creative genes, will come up with something amazing. She always does. Then I get to hear the stories afterwards- Logan sneaking onto the stage to steal the mic last year at the Halloween party to broadcast "hehehe my pretty" takes the cake. Wonder what she will do this year?

How I wish I could be there to see....they grow up way to fast.

2005-10-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

WORLD'S BEST PROCRASTINATOR!

Oh yes...it is I. This weekend I was suppose to read a full book for a book review that is due next Monday. Well, as some of you know I am the best at finding other things to do besides schoolwork. I know, I made it this far- how has this stuck with me? All I can think of is that I need the pressure to do my best work. Give me something to write ahead of time and it sucks. Have me write it hours before and it will be pretty dang good. I'm thinking that I need to shake this though. Dissertations cannot be written overnight.

I guess that means I need to stop writing this blog and get to reading...Sigh!

Hope each of you is well! Miss you!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2005-09-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

...find out what it means to me. Everyone knows that song and sings it to the top of their lungs. Of course when we sing it, we are thinking to ourselves, "Yeah! I've got it going on. Respect me!"

All too often, and I include myself in this statement, we don't turn that around. Point the finger in the other direction, towards ourselves. It's a hard line to walk- being true to yourself and respecting yourself, while also trying to be respectful of others. Doing what you can in the world to take care of yourself without walking on another person.

Let's just say that in my new environment, there seems to be alot of self respect but not enough respect for others. When I talk about respect, I mean the appreciation and/or tolerance of differences. Not that I am completely new to the culture here, I just haven't lived in it for a while. I sit back to observe and listen to the aspects of the culture. I often find myself in the minority on any myriad of issues. So, I listen more. Try to understand more, ask questions to clarify. Yet, when I try engage the other person in a dialogue about it or discuss something that was offensive I'm met with hostility and the conversations end. I expect more from an educational environment, even more so in higher education, where freedom of thought and the exploration of issues IS the purpose of the institution. Instead, the result is the isolation of people into the pockets of people who think most like them and there is seldom interaction between them.

So, I guess my point is- take the time to hear each other more, discuss more and learn more. There is so much hate, misunderstanding and lack of respect (intentional or not) put out into our world everyday. We each have the power to try and change that. Even if it is in our own little corner of the world.

So, respect yourself and respect others. Peace and Love. I'm off my soap box for the night.

Home Is Where the Heart Is

2005-09-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. ~Frederick Buechner

This is not a new lesson for me, but it was certainly reinforced this past weekend. I've always felt this way about my family since I've lived away from Texas for over 5 years now. My understanding of this has developed into something more given John and I are so far apart. I know my heart is in Oregon, but my body and mind are in Florida. Not always an easy task, but we are managing. Home is where your heart is and friends are the ones who make your world no matter where you are. I'm lucky to have a partner, family and friends who provide that for me.

The trip to Oregon was very fun and much needed. Of course it seemed to fly by. A sneak peek into our adventures can be seen in the pictures I posted above:
1) John and I hiked a 5 mile trail up to a butte overlooking Eugene. A beautiful site both on the way up and from the top. You can see me in "Fern Gully" as we called it on the way up.
2 ) John and I at Crater Lake in the Cascade mountains. It was a little cloudy that day, but the color of the water is the bluest I've ever seen. This is the deepest lake in the US and 7th in the world. The lake was formed when Mt. Mazama erupted over 7,500 years ago and the mountain collapsed into itself, creating the crater that was then filled by water from rainfall and snow melt. We are on the porch of the lodge that sits on the rim of the lake having a cup of hot cocoa.

Well, I've got to get back to my school work. I'm liking my assistantship and classes, as well as getting to know my cohort folks better. I hope that you are well and to hear from you soon! :)

Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away with Me....

2005-09-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

This weekend is busy trying to make sure I have everything done so I can head out to Oregon on Wednesday. I cannot wait to get there and see John and the cats. It's been way to long- 2 months. See you soon honey!

But, before I bust out of here I wanted to let you know that my roommate Liz and I are locally famous. Last weekend she invited me out to her families house on the coast. We participated in a dingy sailboat race. While we didn't fare too well in the race, we had a great time. Liz's family called last night to let us know that we were in the local weekly newspaper! Check out the picture...the other picture here is a picture that her aunt took of us that day. By the way, when dolphins surface about 3 feet from your boat it's a little alarming! Once I figured out they weren't sharks I was okay. :)

The devastation from Hurricane Katrina continues to unfold this week. I am very sad for those who are suffering most. This is the most visible image of the plight of those who are poverty stricken in our country that my generation has ever seen. May we continue to help our brothers and sisters here at home who are in need of a shoulder to cry on and help rebuilding a life in a new place without anything but a broken spirit.

Something New....

2005-09-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I am trying something new by creating this blog. First, I hope to utilize it as a way to write frequently about what is on my mind. Maybe this will help to prepare me for all the writing I have ahead of me! Second, I hope that this can be an outlet for me to express myself since so many of my nearest and dearest are far away.

I hope you enjoy this alternative way to get to know me. I also look forward to seeing your posts in the comments section. Talk with you soon!