One word- WEDDING!

www.amberandjohnwedding.com


Yay!

Updates and Updates...Lots of Updates

Well, I had vowed to update this more often...low and behold, 6 months later! Sorry folks. It has been an interesting ride but I am glad to report I am still on the move!

Where to start....but it only makes sense to pick up where I had left off.

Work and School
This summer was as busy as usual with summer orientation and welcoming all the incoming students and their parents to the UO. Because it was going to be busy with work and I was down right tired, I decided to delay taking my comprehensive exams until fall term and take a moment to breath. I had pushed myself extremely hard between working full time, taking classes full time and conducting a pilot study for my dissertation. I accomplished much- 3 publications, a pilot for my dissertation, accolades at work- but I was crashing and needed to just be for a while. I also switched dissertation advisors since my advisor was retiring and needed to forge a new relationship with him. I did take the first two parts of the three part comprehensive exam during the beginning of fall term. I will take the last part of the exam in early January. If all goes well, then I should advance to candidacy sometime in February or March (depending on when they get to grading). This "slow down" has turned into something I am so glad to have fallen into. I will now have more opportunity to interview students for my study, more time to learn the research process and a better chance at remaining sane!

Summer Visits and Trips
John and I had a great time visiting with folks over the summer. We went out to Hannibal, MO for our biennual Swayze Family Reunion! It was a blast, as usual, to get together with everyone. My entire immediate family was there, in addition to the 50 or so extended family members. We did it up right with the Swayze Olympics as the theme, complete with family style olympic games at a park. I have always enjoyed the Swayze Family Reunions since I can remember them. My grandmother (Mom as I call her) is one of 13 siblings who have kept us all together. There were only four of the original 13 able to attend, but their legacy is so strong. Catching up with all my cousins, aunts/uncles, great aunts/uncles, grandmother- all priceless.

We had several visitors and were so glad to host them in our house and beautiful Oregon. My Mom came out in September and we had loads of fun just being together. In addition, our friend Pat Morrison and his girlfriend Melissa came on a whirlwind tour of the Pacific Northwest from Toronto. They made a stop in Eugene for a couple of days and we were so glad to see Pat and meet Melissa! A few weeks later, my dear friend Paige came out for a visit from Texas. This was her first trip out and we had a great time touring around Eugene. We were lucky to have visits from folks and we LOVE to have people stay and see the beautiful scenery! Taking reservations at Hotel Duncan for next summer- get your reservations in today!

Promotion
John got some really great news this fall! As a result of all the hard work he has done in not only expanding the Holden Leadership Center, but also as a result of his fundraising efforts he got a HUGE promotion! In addition to his position as Director of the Holden Leadership Center he is also now the Director of Development for Student Affairs. So that he can assume his new responsibilities, his office has grown considerably in staff. I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished. In just three years he turned a dream into reality and then some.

Family
I have spent alot of time with my family over the last couple of months. It hasn't exactly been a cake walk for everyone. We have had 2 major events occur in October. First, my grandmother (who I call Mom :) ) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was scheduled for a full masectomy and had it in November. I am glad to say that she is recovering well, but we keep her in our hearts and thoughts every day. She is one of the most influential women in my life, along side my mother and my sister. These three women mean the most to me and inspire me in every aspect of my life. I'm glad that Mom is beating this cancer and we continue to pray for her strength and healing. In addition to Mom's breast cancer, we also had a tragic death in the family.

Amelia Dale Stevens- In Memoriam
Well, based on my last post you all know that Angie got married. She and Chad were also pregnant with their first child and due mid-December. They had their daughter, Amelia Dale, about five weeks early on October 28, 2008. She appeared healthy and Chad and Angie loved her with all their hearts- changing diapers, cooing, cuddling. Two days after Amelia was born, she came down with a terrible case of pneumonia and was transferred to Cook Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth. Her tiny little body wasn't able to fight off the infection that had taken over her little organs. On November 2, 2008 our tiniest angel passed away. She is always in our hearts and watching over us. This has been, by far, the most difficult thing that I have experienced. I also know that what I feel can never come close to what my sister and Chad are going through. I am so moved by their grace and love for each other and for each of us.

Thanksgiving
John and I were so excited to head north to visit close friends for Thanksgiving this year. We made plans to travel up to Seattle to visit Aimee and AJ for Thanksgiving Day. Then we would travel on up to Victoria, BC to spend the weekend with Geoff and Kelly. (Aimee has quickly become a life-long friend as we have taken the journey through the doctoral program together. AJ is a step ahead of us and is already Dr. Peper! Geoff is John's fraternity brother and they have been close friends for years now. He and his wife Kelly are newly married and just had their first child together. This was our first chance to meet their son, Max!) The trip up was interesting to say the least. We left the house at 4am on Thanksgiving Day to drive up to Seattle. At about 7am and 1 hour from Aimee and AJ's house, John turns to me and says, "Did you grab our passports?" Yeah- neither one of us had our passports to cross into Canada the next day. So, AJ and John got in the car and drove to Portland to meet a friend with our passports. Aimee and I got to catch up and drink wine! We had a great Thanksgiving dinner when the guys got back. The next morning, John and I boarded the ferry to Victoria (or Vic as we all say). On the way there we were so excited to see Orca Whales in the bay of Puget Sound. Our arrival to Vic was welcomed by Geoff and Max. We were able to visit with Kelly and Geoff and catch up. We stayed in the Fairmont Empress Hotel one night and ate at Earl's (hehe, I took a picture with the sign and sent it to Earl) that night downtown. Vic is such a beautiful place and we always enjoy our time there. Thanksgiving was fun and it was so good to be around close friends and have the opportunity to catch up in person!

In the end...
While the last couple of months have provided many personal challenges for me. It has also been a time when I have been so, so, so grateful for how close my family is to each other. How we dive in and take care of each other. It has taught me a lesson- nothing means more than family and dear friends. While work and school have been so intensely busy, neither can replace those that I love so much. New Year's Resolution- BALANCE!

I hope your holiday is full of friendship, love and laughter. John and I are headed to Texas on Christmas Eve and will stay through New Years. We wish you all the best in the New Year!

Coming to you LIVE from Eugene!

Howdy folks! I just got back from my second trip to Texas in a month which means I have a bit of an accent again. It's pretty fun to hear ya'll and howdy and that twang! Since I have a little bit of a breather here today, I thought it would be a good time to update the blog and give a little window into my life at this moment.

Well, it is official- I HAVE COMPLETED MY COURSEWORK!!!! I have finished three years of coursework towards my doctorate and it felt so good to be done. My very last class, I did announce that I just finished the last class I will ever take towards a degree. I'm not gonna lie..I have toyed with the idea of a sociology degree, but there is a reason the doctorate is called a "terminal" degree- the end! As people in my program graduated they were also cheering me on and saying that next year- it would be me. I can see it at this point at least, but lots to do in the mean time.

ANGIE GOT MARRIED! I flew home May 30-June 1 to watch my little sister Angie get married to Chad Stevens. Their ceremony was very touching as they not only said vows to each other, but to the kids. Chad has a daughter Avery and Angie has a daughter Logan. So after all the vows were exchanged, they presented the family instead of just the couple. It was so moving and I have to say I was pretty teary eyed. That was Friday night. Then Saturday night we had a reception with lots of family and friends. The weekend was such a blur, but it was also fun because all of my family was in one place for the weekend and I got to see everyone!
PHOTOS:
Album 1
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454181&l=7ec45&id=5238266
Album 2
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454184&l=d9ad4&id=5238266

Graduation planning came to culmination on June 13-14 when we hosted about 40,000 people for spring graduation. It was alot of fun and everything went smoothly. I was so glad for it to be over on Saturday night and John took me out to the BBQ place in town for sweet tea and brisket. Then I slept for 14 hours straight.

The Wednesday after graduation I got on a plane and headed to San Antonio, TX for Alpha Gamma Delta Convention. I was exhausted from the academic year but so looking forward to Convention and seeing many of my AGD sisters that I only get to see about every 2 years. This Convention was one that I will always remember. I arrived on Wed and didn't leave the hotel but once. There were so many folks to catch up with and meet. I was able to connect with all of the Province Directors that I supervise and their chapters. I also sat in amazement at our members- such strong women leaders, both alumnae and collegiate. I also conducted Chapter Advisor trainings and facilitated a couple of workshops. It is something that is impossible to describe when you have 400 women in a room who share the same purpose and surround each other in sisterhood.
PHOTOS:
Album 1
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454122&l=bfabc&id=5238266
Album 2
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454155&l=4f6f6&id=5238266

What lies ahead...
I am now preparing to take the first two parts of my comprehensive exams. There are three total and I will take Part 1 June 27-June 30, Part 2 July 3-6. I am meeting with my advisor tonight to do a little prep and get myself in the mindset. In the mean time, I am also preparing to conduct research in July when all our first year students come to orientation (as we call it IntroDUCKtion). I'll then wrap up my comprehensive exams August 25-Sept 12. Then I will hopefully have a committee in place and have my proposal approved to conduct research for my dissertation starting Sept 29. It's an extremely tight timeline, so this summer will be full of work welcoming new parents and dissertation.

So, that's the skinny on my recent adventures. It's always an adventure, but I am grateful for the support of my family and friends. I wouldn't be able to handle everything that is on my plate right now without your support. It's been difficult and I know I have been out of touch, but knowing that you are thinking of me and cheering for me really does make the biggest difference in the world. I feel fortunate to have this support.

It's Always Something New! :)

I just like to keep you all on the edge of your seat because you never know what will be coming!

Good news is that I am taking my last 2 classes this term (sociology theory and race and labor markets) that are both sociology classes. Love them. Lots of reading, but love them. I'm getting ready for Spring Commencement (I plan 41 ceremonies in 3 days, it's awesome) on June 12-14. Then I head to San Antonio for Alpha Gam Convention June 18-23. The next two weeks I'll take parts 1 and 2 of my comprehensive exams. Orientation is all of July. August I'll take part 3 of my exam. September I'll defend my research proposal and then bam- the race is on to the finish! Hopefully I'll be Dr. Amber by June or August '09.

The trips to New York and Atlanta were so wonderful. I was glad to get away for a while. I absolutely love New York! We were staying right by Times Square and the energy in the city was amazing. We saw the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Chinatown, and World Trade Center Site. We went to see Chicago on Broadway- fabulous! And, we of course went to the conference. We presented 2 papers, both received rave reviews. That was so rewarding to hear faculty offer such glowing reviews. Then I headed to Atlanta for a student affairs conference where I saw many, many, many colleagues and friends. We had such a great time!

On the home front, Justin and Junko have moved out as of this week. It's nice to have a peaceful house and John and I are settling into our space.

Family news- Angie is getting married! This summer! She is marrying Chad Stevens, who is a long time friend. He has a daughter Avery who is such a cutie. So I told her she will have an insta-family with Chad, Avery and Logan!

Ok- I think that is it for my quick update. Hope everyone out there is doing great. I miss you!

Better...for now...

So, latest updates since my last post. Mom came to my rescue and stayed with us from Feb 7th-16th. It was so wonderful to have her here and just know that she would know how to fix something or just make it all right. I was able to be calm at home and get things done. My life seemed to come back down off of the tight rope it was walking on. I haven't had another panic attack and feel like at least now I can see the end of the term. Lots of things to get done between now and the end of the term, but at least I can see it. Between now and then I have 5 major papers to write, 1 class presentation, 1 research project for class, and my AERA paper to write. This will all be over the week of March 17th. Then we fly to New York for the AERA conference March 22-29 and I head to Atlanta for another conference March 29-April 2. Needless to say, its still going to be busy but I am hoping the worst will be past me at that point.

Spring is looking optimistic. Work is insanely busy during that time, but I will only have two classes to worry about. I may be taking my comprehensive exam during spring. I haven't completely committed to it yet, but it would make sense for me. Then the summer would be devoted to writing my dissertation proposal so it could be approved for research in the fall/winter next year. I am hoping to defend in time for graduation in summer '09. That seems like a realistic goal.

That is my life at the moment. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write me a note of encouragement, insight or support. It really does mean alot to me.

Did that just happen? Yeah...I think it did.

So tonight, I got out of class and started walking to the car with John. I start to take a deep breath and all the sudden my neck muscles feel like they are tightening up around my esophagus. It hurts to breath. John has to take my bag while I stand there trying to breath and feeling like I was getting light headed. We get into the car and my entire neck is tight. I feel like there isn't any blood getting to my head. Even more light headedness. I start to tear up because it all feels so wierd. I felt like I was going to get a migraine for a minute, but that started to pass as I finally felt like I was getting control again. The back of my neck loosened up. The front started to loosen up. I could breath deep.

I think may have had a panic attack or something. It was wierd- I just have too much on my plate right now. Sadly, all I want to do is be alone. Just some quiet time with no reading, no writing, no analyzing, no listening to someone else's issues, no helping to carry someone else's baggage, no picking up after someone, no please take care of my shit, no remembering all the details, no having to hold the big picture, no petty bull, no hoping I remembered, no endless lists of things to do.

I think I just need to be....be quiet, be content, be simple, be away, be behind the scenes, be ok with saying no, be better with boundaries, be silent.

Just Apologizing- Upfront or Afterwards

Well, if anyone is still reading this thing it may mean that you haven't heard from me and I've almost fallen off the face of the planet. Quite possible, given my current state!

I feel really terrible that I have not called dear friends back nor have I kept in touch like I usually do. It's been a crazy ride this academic year. Fall term I had knee surgery, took 14 credits and began a side research project on top of working full time. Then took a quick moment to breath during a visit to Texas- only to return to even more craziness than I know how to handle at the moment.

I feel like I need to say- folks, I'll be back after March 17th! From the time school started for winter term until that date my life is going to be more than I can handle. I have 12 credits, work, conducting a study, writing up the study for a March conference, helping to coordinate a conference, volunteering for Alpha Gam and trying to have a relationship with John. Let's just say that so far, I'm doing all at about a rate of what fire can I put out this moment.

I laughed at myself this past week when my Mom called to quickly ask me what my address is so she could send me something. Yeah- I totally blanked! What...I'm suppose to be smart and stuff but I can't remember my freaking address. I had to look it up on a bill and call her back.

So, with all that being said I just wanted to let everyone out there know that if I haven't returned a phone call or been quick to respond to you in any way, I am so very sorry. I do have a list going of all the folks who have called and I need to call back. You are on my mind- I just need to carve out some time to talk to you. I think, "Oh I could call so and so" but then wouldn't be able to talk long or I am so tired I would fall asleep on the phone with you.

Please still be my friend and know that I love you. I'll be back from this place in time for spring term (only 9 credits and my last term of classes!) and hope to have more time then to be a better friend. Just had to get this off my chest and out to you.

Good Holiday

We had a great holdiay at home in Texas. It involved visits with many wonderful friends and precious family.

Out with the AGD Oldcrew after finding out Robyn is pregnant!

This is my Mom, me, GiGi and Angie on Christmas Day

John and I on New Year's Eve

Me, Marissa, Jess and Robyn

Angie, Cousin Kevin Fowler and Me

I RAN!

I ran today at physical therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am so out of shape....lots of work left to do, but I am making progress. Now I get to start the "return to running" program. :)

That's all...back to work.

The Golden Compass

This morning I found a couple of "movie warning" emails in my inbox that can be found below in green. My response is afterwards in purple.

(Apparently, in the last movie when the children kill god, they call him Yahweh: See the Snopes website for that additional info.)......... Please spread the word about this around. An aware public can make a difference!

"The Golden Compass" is set to premier on December 7, during the Christmas season, and will probably be heavily advertised. This movie is based on the first book of a trilogy by atheist Philip Pullman. In the final book a boy and girl kill God so they can do as they please. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "My books are about killing God."

The movie is a watered down version of the first book and is designed to be very attractive in the hope unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie and that the children will want the books for Christmas.

The movie has a well-known cast, including Nicole Kidman, Kevin Bacon, and Sam Elliott. It will probably be advertised extensively, so it is crucial that we get the word out to warn parents to avoid this movie.

Please consider a boycott of the movie and the books. Also, pass this information along to everyone you know. This will help to educate parents, so that they will know the agenda of the movie.

You can research this for yourself. Start with this article on Snopes.com. Once there, look to the column on the left side named “Hottest Urban Legends.” Click on “Golden Compass.

(I read the snopes article and this is definitely worth passing around. It's very disturbing. I normally don't forward this kind of email but I think it is well worth spreading.)

Not tired of reading about the movie? Here's MORE DETAILS
---
The movie has been described as "atheism for kids" and is based on the first book of a trilogy entitled "His Dark Materials" that was written by Phillip Pullman. Pullman is a militant atheist and secular humanist who despises C. S. Lewis and the "Chronicles of Narnia". His motivation for writing this trilogy was specifically to counteract Lewis' symbolisms of Christ that are portrayed in the Narnia series.

Clearly, Pullman 's main objective is to bash Christianity and promote atheism. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "my books are about killing God." He has even stated that he wants to "kill God in the minds of children". It has been said of Pullman that he is "the writer the atheists would be praying for, if atheists prayed."

Psalm 22:22 "I will declare your name to my brethren"
Isaiah 42:8 "I am Yahweh, that is my name"

My Reaction and Response
Go and actually read the snopes page:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

From what I can tell, the movie is based on the first book in the series. The children are fighting against an oppressive god. I don't think they call the god-like figure in the movie Yahweh, rather they call him "the Authority." But the dissolution of the Authority isn't suppose to happen until the third book and so it is unclear if it will be in the movie or not.

I'm going to go and see the movie to be informed. The person who wrote it is an atheist, not a criminal or a bad person as is implied in the emails. The books have actually won awards...because you know what, I bet they make children actually think! I don't see anything wrong with reading C.S. Lewis AND Pullman because they offer great stories based on different beliefs. Being able to THINK through both of those stories helps you from being blinded from the misgivings of both sides.

"Several key themes of the novels, the rejection of organized religion and the abuse of power in a fictionalized Catholic Church, are to be diluted in the adaptation. Director Weitz said "in the books the Magisterium is a version of the Catholic Church gone wildly astray from its roots" but that the organization portrayed in his film would not directly match that of Pullman's books. Instead, the Magisterium will represent all dogmatic organizations.[33] " http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/His_Dark_Materials:_The_Golden_Compass

What a great opportunity to actually talk about the abuse of power by organized religion that has happened in our world. Lots of examples to draw from for all types of religion- slavery, the Reformation, wars and wars and wars, treating women less than men, etc.

It's about being educated and it is ok to ask questions, read/watch materials that are different from your own beliefs and even talk to someone who believes differently. In the end, it makes us all more aware of what we truly believe and connected as human beings. Every person sees the world from their vantage point and having those multiple perspectives can lead us towards a better understanding of each other and of our world. Not allowing "outside" thoughts or media into our world means we are never challenged to think or consider alternatives that could lead to more developed understandings of complex issues.

I found this to be helpful in my consideration of religion:

Religion becomes both a violation of others' rights and a form of addiction under the following circumstances:
· When it is forced, rather than voluntary;
· When it abuses trust for personal gratification;
· When it misuses power to exploit others;
· When it seeks to force behaviors on others through political manipulation;
· When it uses any form of violence (i.e., "end justifies means") against others of different belief systems;
· When it isolates its followers from the rest of the world in order to remain pure
· When it is a compulsive escape from everyday reality and used to justify abusive behavior toward family, friends, and self.

http://www.philosophy-religion.org/criticism/addictionnew.htm

Don't let these statements make you feel like you can't talk to me about this further or that I am not open to having a conversation. I certianly am open and love to talk about things. My purpose in writing this is to encourage dialogue and instead of sending an email around that is meant to cause alarm based on assumptions; why not send around an email that encourages people to learn and make a decision on their own. In the end, if they still find the movie or books to be anti-religous then they will know why for themselves and feel firmer in their faith. Or they may learn something about their faith that they disagree with and try to change it. Or they may feel confirmed in their belief that there isn't a god. But, at least they considered new information with an open mind and thought about something important instead of letting someone tell them what to think. That is how inequities and injustices are perpetuated in our world.

This has been a good exercise for me today to explore these issues myself, so I am thankful for that. I hope we can continue to talk and dialogue as these are important conversations.

Fall is over...Winter is here....and I'm just posting

Yeah, yeah...I said I would be better about posting on here. Hahahaha! Didn't that fall by the wayside.

Last night was the last night of classes for the fall term and I finally feel as though I am back among the living. It was a crazy term and I'm glad it is over. It also means that my last time of attending a formal class in the fall is done! Yipee!

Now- what do I do with myself? It's nice to just come to work and not have to worry about class tonight or what is due tomorrow. I think I will sleep all weekend.

Life Updates
I am doing really well recovering from my knee surgery. I am going to start trying to run next week! It has been difficult, but my body feels more like itself every new day.

We have booked our tickets to Texas and fly in to Dallas on Christmas Eve and leave on Jan 2. I haven't been home in a year, so I am looking forward to seeing everyone. It should be good times!

Winter and Spring travel is looking to be busy. We have a couple of weddings, friends to see and a trip to New York for a conference. It is very possible that I will be flying from Hawaii(wedding) to New York(conference)! That will make me feel like a real traveler. The conference in New York is HUGE and I will be presenting two papers- one as the primary researcher and another as a secondary researcher. There were 12,000 proposals submitted and we were selected! In addition, we just submitted a book review to the Harvard Journal of Hispanic Policy...hoping that gets accepted and published. Then I would be published 3 times in one year! I'm so excited with where my academic life is heading.

We did make a trip to Austin in November for an Alpha Gam babyshower. It was so fun and all 11 of us were there for the weekend. We've known each other for 12 years now and still have so much fun together. It's a gift that I am thankful for every day.


I also made a trip to Banden, OR with my faculty advisor and two close classmates (we do all our research together). We also had a really great time on the coast and the beach was so beautiful.

Fall is Here!

Well, folks...the students moved-in today. It's official. My summer is over! I can't tell you how many people around here were morning the passing of summer around here today.

But, the air is starting to get crisp and the leaves are starting to change colors. We start classes on Monday and Fall term is sure to be another busy one. I am planning the first Homecoming in about 15 years at the UO. It's been fun to see people get excited about having it again. Should be a great week and something to build from for years to come.

I am taking 12 credits this term and will be plenty busy with coursework in addition to a pilot study I will conduct at the end of the term. The pilot study will contribute to my dissertation and will put me a bit ahead when I start that big paper next summer.

I am recovering from that super fun knee surgery. It has been a very interesting and frustrating process. Since this was my 3rd knee surgery, my muscles have been fighting me every step of the way. They are very protective of my knee and anything we have tried to do to rehab it. I have been making strides...who knew it would be so difficult to make your quad contract!

John has continued to keep himself super busy and making a huge name for himself. I am so proud of all he has accomplished here already. He secured a $1 million dollar donation to endow the Leadership Resource Office (which he started only 2 years ago) and has started great programs that challenge and support students in their leadership development. I can't tell you how many people have come up to me to tell me how amazing they think he is or how much they admire all he has done.

OH- how could I forget. Justin arrived from Japan and is living with us now. Justin is John's best friend/brother and watching the two of them catch back up has been fun. We are all waiting (Justin more so I am sure) for Junko, Justin's wife, to get her green card and visa so she can move here as well. We are hoping for November at this point. I'm excited for Junko to get here because she is awesome and we are going to have alot of fun together.

Ok, it's time to do some work. Talk to ya'll again soon. :)

What a summer!

Hi folks,

I apologize that it has been SO super long since I have posted on here! Life has just been so incredibly busy and there has been so much going on. That just means I have lots to update you on!

I made it through the academic year and thought that the summer would provide some downtime. HAHAHAHA! Just kidding....that would not be true. But it has been a wonderful summer.

Several things have happened:
- I had family visit twice! My Mom, Logan and Cami came to visit followed a week later by my sister Angie. We had a great time showing them around Oregon. It was great to have family visit and spend time with them in this beautiful place.
- I had ACL reconstruction surgery.
- We moved! New house in a quiet part of town and our friends Justin and Junko are moving in with us when they arrive from Japan.

All of this while working and taking classes...needless to say, it was busy. But again, we had such a blast with my family visiting and were glad to move. Here are some pictures that highlight the summer.

What does today mean?

Well, today was a very tragic day at Virginia Tech University. This morning I got to work and saw the news that a shooting had occured. My heart goes out to every member of the VA Tech community and anyone who may be effected.

As the events unfolded throughout the day and the death toll rose, it seemed surreal. Could this really happen at a University? At places that are havens for learning? Don't get me wrong, we certainly have violence on campus- every place has crime. And with Universities the size they are now a days, campuses are small cities. Imagine a small town of 36,000 people and you are looking at the size of VA Tech. Imagine a Texas A&M or UT where the students alone total 45-50,000 students plus thousands of faculty and staff. But our worst crime tends to be theft, not shootings or murders.

Where I think we have gone wrong in response to all this is the amount of finger pointing and blaming. My gosh...I just spent a couple of hours catching up to the world's response to the events today and I must say that we are the worst! Debates about gun laws and God in schools are everywhere. We can't stop for a moment and morn with those most effected. We can't send condolences and embrace others. Instead we start bitching about politics. I'm so disgusted at this.

We must let the dust settle and respect those who are in pain by embracing them in love right now. Not inundate them with hateful debate and finger pointing.

I don't know what today will mean for the future, but I do know there is great sadness and pain.

Getting Ready

We just finished the second week of the term! Now I have a week and a half until we leave for Japan. We are so excited for this opportunity! John's best friend, Justin, is getting married. Justin has been living in Japan for about the last 5 years and is marrying a woman named Junko. She seems super sweet and we have been emailing lately. She and her Mom are letting me borrow a Kumono to wear to the wedding! Our trip will be 10 days long. We will be getting in 2 days before the wedding. After the wedding, we will spend the week traveling and site-seeing with the newly weds. Honeymoons are not a tradition in Japan and we feel lucky to have time with them. We will be sure to take a million pictures and write about our experiences.

Otherwise, we have been working alot and trying to stay on top of everything. I can't believe it has almost been a year that I have been here. June will mark one year!

Letting a little emotion out...

Hi folks,
I'm just feeling a little exhausted, down, sad...this past term I've had to respond to 4 student deaths. From January to March, four young people have died and I've happened to be the person on duty. A friend of mine here said to me, "Amber, you're suppose to be there. The person that helps others through this. You're suppose to be the one." At first, that made me feel really good. That I could help someone carry the load, help someone through a difficult time. Now I need to step back a moment.

This past week I've watched 18-24 year old men cry, hug each other and publicly say "I love you, man." The men might not otherwise do this, but they were holding each other up and taking care of each other. It was such an amazingly beautiful thing during such a dark time. To watch the character of the family to not be angry at the person or situation that took their son's life...recognizing the common grief, sadness and burden that they and the person that killed their son would both carry with them the rest of their lives. These were the gifts I have been given this past week.

As hard as each of these situations have been, I have learned so much. Its amazing how the death of people that you never personally knew can effect you. These four students were very different people, but they were loved so much by everyone around them. Each and every one of us touches someone else with our lives whether we knew them or not. They each left a legacy by displaying the content of their character through the way they treated others. I didn't know these four students, but the legacy they left has touched me. I can only hope to live up to the life that these four students lived. Now I feel a little better...thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Verdict is in....

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday and he confirmed...I've torn my ACL AGAIN!

Bright side of the story is I don't need immediate surgery and can take my trips that I have planned:
- Chicago for St. Pattys
- Conference in Orlando first of April
- Japan late april

Bad news is I will have to have the major surgery and I can't do it until August given my school and work schedule.

Other than that, life is busy with school and work. Not too many quiet times between those two things, but we are doing well. Hope life is great with you!

Why Can't I Be Invincible?

Well folks...two posts in one week! It's your lucky day!

Just feeling a little down and frustrated at the moment and thought I would post. See, two weeks ago John, Chris (good friend of John's) and I went snow skiing. Now, for some of you who have known me for years know that I have had 2 surgeries on my left knee- all for my ACL. Yeah- you can see where this is going...

So we went skiing and all was going well. Beautiful day, beautiful snow, beautiful scenery. We had been down the mountain about 6 times and all was going well. Before we took a lunch break, one more run.


So we get on the ski lift and up we go! Chris on the far left, John in the middle and Amber on the right side. We get to the top and get ready to get off the lift. As we stand up and ski down, I catch the back of John's ski with my left ski and try to turn right. When I do this, my right ski goes right and my left ski stays put. So now I'm starting to do the splits and as I go to fall down- pop. My knee pops out of joint and I am down for the count. Not a comfortable place to be with your head in the snow and your legs in god knows what direction. Luckily between John and the medic at the lift they were able to get my skis off and stand me up. Of course, I totally stopped the entire lift for about 5 minutes. I knew it was hurt and couldn't/wouldn't attempt to ski back down. Jan, the volunteer medic, put me in the sled and skied me down the mountain behind her.

Here I am in the ski patrol station waiting for my make shift, cardboard box, splint to be put together and duck taped to my leg. Since we had taken a shuttle, I spent the rest of the day in the lodge drinking bloody mary's and watching others ski or fall down the mountain.

Today I was finally able to visit the Orthopedic doc who looked at my leg, did a knee exam and said, "Well, I think it's torn again." The fact that I can't straighten my leg could mean two things- 1) the ACL is torn or 2) the meniscus is torn. I go in for a MRI on Friday night...yeah, John and I are having a date with the big loud machine. We'll see what the shows us when I meet with the doc again on Feb 12th. Until then, I'll be hobblin' around and taking the shuttle to class. Anyone want to buy some nice ski pants and goggles?


I'll keep you posted...

Sorry for being MIA...I'm back!

Howdy, hello, hola,

So I disappeared since NOVEMBER! AAAHHH! Never meant for that to happen. So where to even start on what been going on over the last couple of months.

Thanksgiving was nice even though I was on duty for work. We were able to sneak away to John's parents for lunch. I did a little day after Thanksgiving shopping and then it was back to work and school. The term ended well and I survived my first term of working and going to school full time. The winter break was wonderful- we were able to visit Texas, thanks to my parents and had so much fun. The nieces are getting so big and funnier by the minute. Logan is 5 now and is already a little scientist. She asked for a frog dissection kit (fake frog :)) and microscope. I just get such a kick out of her and am so glad she is exploring all the world has to offer without being confined to "girls" stuff. Everyone in the family is doing well and seeing them was energizing and rejuvenating. Nothing can replace spending quality time with family.

We started the winter term off with the same crazy weather that brought ice and snow to the south. The weather couldn't be better now though, as the sun has been out all week! So, it's been back to the books and busy at work. Family weekend is coming up in 2 weeks and graduation planning is under way.

That's the story in a super, small nutshell. I'll be making sure I post more frequently in the future! Thanks for staying with me here!

What is Peace?

Let me just tell you, life has been so busy! I feel like John and I have been running and running. But, at the same time there has been all this noise, work and craziness I have found myself at peace. I have this magnet up in my office and it caught my eye the other day. This is what peace means to me. I have to be busy and be involved in a million things, but as long as I am calm in my heart I am fine.

Well, I am very calm in my heart. I have so many wonderful people around me to share in this life with- John, my family, and many friends. No matter how far away you are or how often I get to see you, know that I think of you often and send you well wishes. Each of you gives me strength and gives me peace in my heart.