Updates and Updates...Lots of Updates

Well, I had vowed to update this more often...low and behold, 6 months later! Sorry folks. It has been an interesting ride but I am glad to report I am still on the move!

Where to start....but it only makes sense to pick up where I had left off.

Work and School
This summer was as busy as usual with summer orientation and welcoming all the incoming students and their parents to the UO. Because it was going to be busy with work and I was down right tired, I decided to delay taking my comprehensive exams until fall term and take a moment to breath. I had pushed myself extremely hard between working full time, taking classes full time and conducting a pilot study for my dissertation. I accomplished much- 3 publications, a pilot for my dissertation, accolades at work- but I was crashing and needed to just be for a while. I also switched dissertation advisors since my advisor was retiring and needed to forge a new relationship with him. I did take the first two parts of the three part comprehensive exam during the beginning of fall term. I will take the last part of the exam in early January. If all goes well, then I should advance to candidacy sometime in February or March (depending on when they get to grading). This "slow down" has turned into something I am so glad to have fallen into. I will now have more opportunity to interview students for my study, more time to learn the research process and a better chance at remaining sane!

Summer Visits and Trips
John and I had a great time visiting with folks over the summer. We went out to Hannibal, MO for our biennual Swayze Family Reunion! It was a blast, as usual, to get together with everyone. My entire immediate family was there, in addition to the 50 or so extended family members. We did it up right with the Swayze Olympics as the theme, complete with family style olympic games at a park. I have always enjoyed the Swayze Family Reunions since I can remember them. My grandmother (Mom as I call her) is one of 13 siblings who have kept us all together. There were only four of the original 13 able to attend, but their legacy is so strong. Catching up with all my cousins, aunts/uncles, great aunts/uncles, grandmother- all priceless.

We had several visitors and were so glad to host them in our house and beautiful Oregon. My Mom came out in September and we had loads of fun just being together. In addition, our friend Pat Morrison and his girlfriend Melissa came on a whirlwind tour of the Pacific Northwest from Toronto. They made a stop in Eugene for a couple of days and we were so glad to see Pat and meet Melissa! A few weeks later, my dear friend Paige came out for a visit from Texas. This was her first trip out and we had a great time touring around Eugene. We were lucky to have visits from folks and we LOVE to have people stay and see the beautiful scenery! Taking reservations at Hotel Duncan for next summer- get your reservations in today!

Promotion
John got some really great news this fall! As a result of all the hard work he has done in not only expanding the Holden Leadership Center, but also as a result of his fundraising efforts he got a HUGE promotion! In addition to his position as Director of the Holden Leadership Center he is also now the Director of Development for Student Affairs. So that he can assume his new responsibilities, his office has grown considerably in staff. I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished. In just three years he turned a dream into reality and then some.

Family
I have spent alot of time with my family over the last couple of months. It hasn't exactly been a cake walk for everyone. We have had 2 major events occur in October. First, my grandmother (who I call Mom :) ) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was scheduled for a full masectomy and had it in November. I am glad to say that she is recovering well, but we keep her in our hearts and thoughts every day. She is one of the most influential women in my life, along side my mother and my sister. These three women mean the most to me and inspire me in every aspect of my life. I'm glad that Mom is beating this cancer and we continue to pray for her strength and healing. In addition to Mom's breast cancer, we also had a tragic death in the family.

Amelia Dale Stevens- In Memoriam
Well, based on my last post you all know that Angie got married. She and Chad were also pregnant with their first child and due mid-December. They had their daughter, Amelia Dale, about five weeks early on October 28, 2008. She appeared healthy and Chad and Angie loved her with all their hearts- changing diapers, cooing, cuddling. Two days after Amelia was born, she came down with a terrible case of pneumonia and was transferred to Cook Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth. Her tiny little body wasn't able to fight off the infection that had taken over her little organs. On November 2, 2008 our tiniest angel passed away. She is always in our hearts and watching over us. This has been, by far, the most difficult thing that I have experienced. I also know that what I feel can never come close to what my sister and Chad are going through. I am so moved by their grace and love for each other and for each of us.

Thanksgiving
John and I were so excited to head north to visit close friends for Thanksgiving this year. We made plans to travel up to Seattle to visit Aimee and AJ for Thanksgiving Day. Then we would travel on up to Victoria, BC to spend the weekend with Geoff and Kelly. (Aimee has quickly become a life-long friend as we have taken the journey through the doctoral program together. AJ is a step ahead of us and is already Dr. Peper! Geoff is John's fraternity brother and they have been close friends for years now. He and his wife Kelly are newly married and just had their first child together. This was our first chance to meet their son, Max!) The trip up was interesting to say the least. We left the house at 4am on Thanksgiving Day to drive up to Seattle. At about 7am and 1 hour from Aimee and AJ's house, John turns to me and says, "Did you grab our passports?" Yeah- neither one of us had our passports to cross into Canada the next day. So, AJ and John got in the car and drove to Portland to meet a friend with our passports. Aimee and I got to catch up and drink wine! We had a great Thanksgiving dinner when the guys got back. The next morning, John and I boarded the ferry to Victoria (or Vic as we all say). On the way there we were so excited to see Orca Whales in the bay of Puget Sound. Our arrival to Vic was welcomed by Geoff and Max. We were able to visit with Kelly and Geoff and catch up. We stayed in the Fairmont Empress Hotel one night and ate at Earl's (hehe, I took a picture with the sign and sent it to Earl) that night downtown. Vic is such a beautiful place and we always enjoy our time there. Thanksgiving was fun and it was so good to be around close friends and have the opportunity to catch up in person!

In the end...
While the last couple of months have provided many personal challenges for me. It has also been a time when I have been so, so, so grateful for how close my family is to each other. How we dive in and take care of each other. It has taught me a lesson- nothing means more than family and dear friends. While work and school have been so intensely busy, neither can replace those that I love so much. New Year's Resolution- BALANCE!

I hope your holiday is full of friendship, love and laughter. John and I are headed to Texas on Christmas Eve and will stay through New Years. We wish you all the best in the New Year!

Coming to you LIVE from Eugene!

Howdy folks! I just got back from my second trip to Texas in a month which means I have a bit of an accent again. It's pretty fun to hear ya'll and howdy and that twang! Since I have a little bit of a breather here today, I thought it would be a good time to update the blog and give a little window into my life at this moment.

Well, it is official- I HAVE COMPLETED MY COURSEWORK!!!! I have finished three years of coursework towards my doctorate and it felt so good to be done. My very last class, I did announce that I just finished the last class I will ever take towards a degree. I'm not gonna lie..I have toyed with the idea of a sociology degree, but there is a reason the doctorate is called a "terminal" degree- the end! As people in my program graduated they were also cheering me on and saying that next year- it would be me. I can see it at this point at least, but lots to do in the mean time.

ANGIE GOT MARRIED! I flew home May 30-June 1 to watch my little sister Angie get married to Chad Stevens. Their ceremony was very touching as they not only said vows to each other, but to the kids. Chad has a daughter Avery and Angie has a daughter Logan. So after all the vows were exchanged, they presented the family instead of just the couple. It was so moving and I have to say I was pretty teary eyed. That was Friday night. Then Saturday night we had a reception with lots of family and friends. The weekend was such a blur, but it was also fun because all of my family was in one place for the weekend and I got to see everyone!
PHOTOS:
Album 1
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454181&l=7ec45&id=5238266
Album 2
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454184&l=d9ad4&id=5238266

Graduation planning came to culmination on June 13-14 when we hosted about 40,000 people for spring graduation. It was alot of fun and everything went smoothly. I was so glad for it to be over on Saturday night and John took me out to the BBQ place in town for sweet tea and brisket. Then I slept for 14 hours straight.

The Wednesday after graduation I got on a plane and headed to San Antonio, TX for Alpha Gamma Delta Convention. I was exhausted from the academic year but so looking forward to Convention and seeing many of my AGD sisters that I only get to see about every 2 years. This Convention was one that I will always remember. I arrived on Wed and didn't leave the hotel but once. There were so many folks to catch up with and meet. I was able to connect with all of the Province Directors that I supervise and their chapters. I also sat in amazement at our members- such strong women leaders, both alumnae and collegiate. I also conducted Chapter Advisor trainings and facilitated a couple of workshops. It is something that is impossible to describe when you have 400 women in a room who share the same purpose and surround each other in sisterhood.
PHOTOS:
Album 1
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454122&l=bfabc&id=5238266
Album 2
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2454155&l=4f6f6&id=5238266

What lies ahead...
I am now preparing to take the first two parts of my comprehensive exams. There are three total and I will take Part 1 June 27-June 30, Part 2 July 3-6. I am meeting with my advisor tonight to do a little prep and get myself in the mindset. In the mean time, I am also preparing to conduct research in July when all our first year students come to orientation (as we call it IntroDUCKtion). I'll then wrap up my comprehensive exams August 25-Sept 12. Then I will hopefully have a committee in place and have my proposal approved to conduct research for my dissertation starting Sept 29. It's an extremely tight timeline, so this summer will be full of work welcoming new parents and dissertation.

So, that's the skinny on my recent adventures. It's always an adventure, but I am grateful for the support of my family and friends. I wouldn't be able to handle everything that is on my plate right now without your support. It's been difficult and I know I have been out of touch, but knowing that you are thinking of me and cheering for me really does make the biggest difference in the world. I feel fortunate to have this support.

It's Always Something New! :)

I just like to keep you all on the edge of your seat because you never know what will be coming!

Good news is that I am taking my last 2 classes this term (sociology theory and race and labor markets) that are both sociology classes. Love them. Lots of reading, but love them. I'm getting ready for Spring Commencement (I plan 41 ceremonies in 3 days, it's awesome) on June 12-14. Then I head to San Antonio for Alpha Gam Convention June 18-23. The next two weeks I'll take parts 1 and 2 of my comprehensive exams. Orientation is all of July. August I'll take part 3 of my exam. September I'll defend my research proposal and then bam- the race is on to the finish! Hopefully I'll be Dr. Amber by June or August '09.

The trips to New York and Atlanta were so wonderful. I was glad to get away for a while. I absolutely love New York! We were staying right by Times Square and the energy in the city was amazing. We saw the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Chinatown, and World Trade Center Site. We went to see Chicago on Broadway- fabulous! And, we of course went to the conference. We presented 2 papers, both received rave reviews. That was so rewarding to hear faculty offer such glowing reviews. Then I headed to Atlanta for a student affairs conference where I saw many, many, many colleagues and friends. We had such a great time!

On the home front, Justin and Junko have moved out as of this week. It's nice to have a peaceful house and John and I are settling into our space.

Family news- Angie is getting married! This summer! She is marrying Chad Stevens, who is a long time friend. He has a daughter Avery who is such a cutie. So I told her she will have an insta-family with Chad, Avery and Logan!

Ok- I think that is it for my quick update. Hope everyone out there is doing great. I miss you!

Better...for now...

So, latest updates since my last post. Mom came to my rescue and stayed with us from Feb 7th-16th. It was so wonderful to have her here and just know that she would know how to fix something or just make it all right. I was able to be calm at home and get things done. My life seemed to come back down off of the tight rope it was walking on. I haven't had another panic attack and feel like at least now I can see the end of the term. Lots of things to get done between now and the end of the term, but at least I can see it. Between now and then I have 5 major papers to write, 1 class presentation, 1 research project for class, and my AERA paper to write. This will all be over the week of March 17th. Then we fly to New York for the AERA conference March 22-29 and I head to Atlanta for another conference March 29-April 2. Needless to say, its still going to be busy but I am hoping the worst will be past me at that point.

Spring is looking optimistic. Work is insanely busy during that time, but I will only have two classes to worry about. I may be taking my comprehensive exam during spring. I haven't completely committed to it yet, but it would make sense for me. Then the summer would be devoted to writing my dissertation proposal so it could be approved for research in the fall/winter next year. I am hoping to defend in time for graduation in summer '09. That seems like a realistic goal.

That is my life at the moment. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write me a note of encouragement, insight or support. It really does mean alot to me.

Did that just happen? Yeah...I think it did.

So tonight, I got out of class and started walking to the car with John. I start to take a deep breath and all the sudden my neck muscles feel like they are tightening up around my esophagus. It hurts to breath. John has to take my bag while I stand there trying to breath and feeling like I was getting light headed. We get into the car and my entire neck is tight. I feel like there isn't any blood getting to my head. Even more light headedness. I start to tear up because it all feels so wierd. I felt like I was going to get a migraine for a minute, but that started to pass as I finally felt like I was getting control again. The back of my neck loosened up. The front started to loosen up. I could breath deep.

I think may have had a panic attack or something. It was wierd- I just have too much on my plate right now. Sadly, all I want to do is be alone. Just some quiet time with no reading, no writing, no analyzing, no listening to someone else's issues, no helping to carry someone else's baggage, no picking up after someone, no please take care of my shit, no remembering all the details, no having to hold the big picture, no petty bull, no hoping I remembered, no endless lists of things to do.

I think I just need to be....be quiet, be content, be simple, be away, be behind the scenes, be ok with saying no, be better with boundaries, be silent.

Just Apologizing- Upfront or Afterwards

Well, if anyone is still reading this thing it may mean that you haven't heard from me and I've almost fallen off the face of the planet. Quite possible, given my current state!

I feel really terrible that I have not called dear friends back nor have I kept in touch like I usually do. It's been a crazy ride this academic year. Fall term I had knee surgery, took 14 credits and began a side research project on top of working full time. Then took a quick moment to breath during a visit to Texas- only to return to even more craziness than I know how to handle at the moment.

I feel like I need to say- folks, I'll be back after March 17th! From the time school started for winter term until that date my life is going to be more than I can handle. I have 12 credits, work, conducting a study, writing up the study for a March conference, helping to coordinate a conference, volunteering for Alpha Gam and trying to have a relationship with John. Let's just say that so far, I'm doing all at about a rate of what fire can I put out this moment.

I laughed at myself this past week when my Mom called to quickly ask me what my address is so she could send me something. Yeah- I totally blanked! What...I'm suppose to be smart and stuff but I can't remember my freaking address. I had to look it up on a bill and call her back.

So, with all that being said I just wanted to let everyone out there know that if I haven't returned a phone call or been quick to respond to you in any way, I am so very sorry. I do have a list going of all the folks who have called and I need to call back. You are on my mind- I just need to carve out some time to talk to you. I think, "Oh I could call so and so" but then wouldn't be able to talk long or I am so tired I would fall asleep on the phone with you.

Please still be my friend and know that I love you. I'll be back from this place in time for spring term (only 9 credits and my last term of classes!) and hope to have more time then to be a better friend. Just had to get this off my chest and out to you.

Good Holiday

We had a great holdiay at home in Texas. It involved visits with many wonderful friends and precious family.

Out with the AGD Oldcrew after finding out Robyn is pregnant!

This is my Mom, me, GiGi and Angie on Christmas Day

John and I on New Year's Eve

Me, Marissa, Jess and Robyn

Angie, Cousin Kevin Fowler and Me